Na me Be This???

I closed the door, turned off the lights and lay still on the bed. For almost five minutes I lay there, trying to block my mind from thoughts roaming by the second. I was completely lost. I felt useless. I had been working on a new song for the past three hours and I still could not get it done. The words wouldn't just come, the story wouldn't just have meaning. For some reason I wasn't inspired and I couldn't get my fucked up senses to work on a different song.
Trying to decide between a cold shower and staying on the bed, I picked my phone, the little devilish device I could hold on to all day without getting tired. As expected, He had sent a message.

"I miss you," the message read. Then he went on to ask "Are you alright?". The devil! Hell yeah I'm alright. After making me feel as stupid as I felt right now. All of a sudden the very thoughts I was trying desperately to block out came rushing through my head.
I got off the bed, angry and disgusted. Taking off my clothes I let my mind roam, my brain waking up the memory of the last time I was with him. How we laughed and talked for hours on end..then the kiss. Oh Jesus! The kiss!

I couldn't do this to myself, not right now. Not when I was beginning to accept he might never really want anything special let alone something to last a long time. He had told me simply, "I don't think the time is right," Yea?? Who the fuck in this modern day of civilization and uber technology decides if the time is right for love and relationships?? I thought those emotions were just supposed to flow? Well except of course if the person in question was not exactly That-into-You. The realization of this fact only made me more angry.

I walk naked towards the mirror and stare at my reflection. The ugly thing stared back at me. I blinked, she blinked back. I raised my hand to touch my hair, she did the same. I was trying desperately to reassure myself this ugly person staring back at me wasn't me. The acne. The god forsaken acne! How did this happen? The doctor assured it was going to get better- but only after it got worse. Problem was, its been this bad for almost two months! 8 straight weeks of staying grounded in the house! Not doing a damn thing! No studio sessions, no outings, nothing! Oh no, that should be 12weeks if I have to add the one month I spent battling it on my own before finally deciding to see the doctor.

I hiss loudly, slipped off my thong and walked into the bath. I needed a long cold shower. Full head bath. Would probably help me forget the pain I was feeling. Pain?? Nahhh, this was more evil than pain. More like anger, depression, or something along those lines.

I felt the water sting my eyes, hit on my back before dropping noisily in the bath. I just stood there, feeling the water cold and harsh on my skin, the tears from my eyes mixing with it that I barely even realized I had been crying. Then I hear my phone ring, the ever familiar ringtone I had assigned to his calls- B.O.B's - Nothing on You- Great song for someone who didn't exactly want to be with you yea? How stupid could I get??

How dare he call? I asked myself between sobs. Then I realized I wanted to hear his voice. I wanted to talk to him for no reason at all. I missed him as much as I tried to deny it. As if waking up from a trance, I turned around swiftly, taking my legs out of the tub faster than I imagined. My wet feet slipped on the tiled floor, bringing my slender water soaked body down in a loud tud. I hit the ground so hard on the floor and cursed under my breath. Fuck!! The shower rained water on me as I lay there. Then I felt the pain in my head. I must have hit it hard. Great! Just what I needed.

Then I remembered the phone that was ringing. It hadn't even rang for more than 10secs. Oh no! Was he flashing me? He was flashing my fucking phone?? What nerve! Nonsense!

Eva Alordiah

8 comments:

  1. WOW! Eva is you really did right this then you are a girl of many talents! Kudos! Great Job! If this really did happen,....all I can say is...It is well with you!
    Can't wait for your next one. Hope there's a follow up on this story o!

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  2. You've got more shit than anyother femcee in d industry...kip it up.

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  3. y u keepn us in suspense

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  4. I really don't kw d word to use in describing u bt u're more dan talented...i really admire ur swagg..if dis happened to u,its well wit u cos I kw wot it feels like nd I feel 4 u...EVA U ROCK!!!

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  5. Interesting read....Left me wanting more...I hope as the story continues, it all tilts in ur favor...

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  6. Please continue the story, he couldn't have been flashing?

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  7. Damn girl u had better finish dis story cause now i'm in fucking love nd its driving me seriously fucked up, u shouldnt ve started dis shit ass story if u knew u were gonna hang now i'm dying to read the bloody end Damn!!!! holla back at ur boy joefire.

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  8. Nyc one oh!! gREAT Job with your writing skills Eva. iT WAS very funny and interesting. Thank God u've finally posted smefng else. Was waitingg! hehe. God Bless....
    skelzee...

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