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Eva Alordiah

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As I Journey these the Great Ife

  • 4/02/2012
  • by
Goldie and friends' tour in Ife! Oh my Goodness. Such fun memories.
After breezing through the very annoying airport traffic trying to get to Ajao estate to hook up with the crew, we get to the rendezvous spot and still had to wait for fine boy YQ. God knows if he wasn't such a talented singer and performer, waiting for him would have sucked! 
I know what you are thinking.. 'Eva is tripping for YQ..'. Ehnnnn! Thank you. Jesus is coming soon. *insert not interested smiley here*

Anyhooo sha! YQ arrives and the crew is complete. Fine boy Minjin, Fine boy Capital Femi, Fine boy YQ, Fine boy Jaywon... Ah ahnnn!!! Abi é ri nkan! Awón fine boizz kan po ni bi bayìí. 
Errr... If you don't understand Yoruba, o ó ni jasi noni! 

God! I'm stupid sometimes sha.
Yep! So we have everybody on the bus. Essence, Goldie, my tiny self.. oh Skuki? Those ones were late comers on a long thing. So they had to come along in their own car much later. 
Road tripping to Ife wasn't such a new thing for me tho, considering the fact that its the same route to my Alma Mata..dear Bowen University. Therefore, unlike several other road trips, there wasn't much to look into the bush along the roads for. Sebi same bush noni. And I saw it for 6 years travelling to Oyo state for secondary school, and another 4 years traveling to Bowen University! 

Ehen! So trip begins and the driver starts to show himself. Driving like a real dumb muhfucker! From behind me in the bus, Essence would yell "Bobo yìí take it easy na!!!" 
Laugh nearly kill me. At a point she couldn't take it anymore and had to switch buses, riding with the second bus instead. 
That left me alone with all the fine boys as I became the only babe with them. Oh but I had my ever ready-to-pounce Manager with me so I was well protected. 
You perv! The Fuck is you thinking!

It was a smooth journey for a while until... 'BoooOOOOOmmMMshaakala"! One of the back tires busted as the driver had sped off hard on potholes and shit on the famously bad Lagos-Ibadan expressway. 
But trust baba God to be ever ready for the work of awón ayé. 
We got through it successfully, switching to the spare and Fine boy YQ taking position as the driver's mind controller. 
What a funny scene it was! YQ had to change seats, taking the front passenger side instead in an effort to make sure the driver didn't drive like such a dumb muhfucker.

*Eva please stop cursing na! What the Fuck is wrong with you sef?!*

And then the rest of the journey was just great. Femi was nice enough to let me watch "Immortals" on his laptop.. Great movie yo! But then I couldn't even get through half of it before the battery died. 
The reception on getting to Ife was amazing! I mean, absolutely amazing! Such nice and friendly people, then I began to wonder.."So all the gist of Awo boys and shit was a rumour bah?"

Omo! You go fear na! 
Showtime 10pm. We got ready to rock and roll. Everyone on point. Swagger on a hunned thousand trillion. Ghen ghen... *insert Nollywood action feem sound** Ghen ghen!
We got to the Amphi Theatre of OAU where the show was to hold and the first thing that caught my attention was the humongous crowd! I'm like "Nooooooooo way!"
Felt like the whole fucking school came out to watch the show. 
The time? Sometime after 11pm and we were just getting jiggy with it. 

Fine boy Minjin and Fine boy Capital Femi had great performances, gracing the stage first and entertaining the crowd. But just at the brink of YQ's performance... Ghen ghen- ghen Ghen! Awo boys show up.
The madness that went down for the next hour cannot be put down in writing but it was an eye-saw! 
Something about the gate fee too expensive at N300 or they weren't going to pay at all and they wanted to enter. Maybe that was it, maybe it wasn't. Maybe they just wanted to be what they were.. All I know is, You turn around and there's a bottle of pee thrown on your head! Imagine that. 
So they were throwing in pee that had been excreted from all manner and sizes of Dicks to water and stones and all sorts. 
Kai! Imagine if you were one of those 'I-gassto-show-myself babes in OAU and you had just recently fixed some brazillian weaves. Make dem come stone piss on top ya head?! 
You nor go axe them, "Can you stone your Fada???"



The hoo-ha ended after the boys demanded they wanted fine boy YQ to perform again. When peace came back to the theatre..and DJ Daruga got the music up again, I began to gear up for my performance.
Please note, at this point, my ginger had died. My mind was upside down and I couldn't think straight. No, destabilized isn't the right word here. Fucked up is.

Skuki leaves the stage, cheering and clapping trailing them as their sneaker geared feet bounced off the theatre.
Then I hear the MC introduce me to come perform and everything that happened after that was fucking unreal!

I have never in my entire life, heard such loud screams from any crowd. It was madness! Here I was battling my mind, telling myself these people didn't give a fuck about me and most probably didn't have a clue who the fuck I was. *in Rick Ross' voice, "I'm not a Star, somebody lied.."*
I could feel my body vaporize from the frigging ground. As I tried to find my balance, I got up on stage and the screams were raised even higher. 
In that moment, I felt super blessed. That was all that meant anything to me. 
Then like as if someone turned off my mumu button, I suddenly realized I was on stage and the Awo boys were in the crowd.

Sharp sharp I got on my knees and greeted them as expected. What a conundrum! 
Everything that happened after that was as expected. Good show. Great crowd. Mad love. 

Goldie must have been so proud of how so good it turned out. And she was happy! Beaming from side to side. I am grateful to have been a part of this tour. The crew was amazing too! 
Trip back was safe. The sleep after that??? Blaaadclat shiiiiiiiii! 

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  1. Eva u re razz shai.

  2. pricelessdebby4/02/2012 5:30 pm

    EvaAlordiah EvaAlordiah EvaAlordiah......jeeeeeez, ur performance was BAdt. Mehnnn...i luv u dyeeee. I was so hapi u came nd dose Awo boiz dey lik to show demsef...anywaz ur performance was sweet....#kisses

  3. Razzite! Luv ur realness (Y)

  4. Not Alordiah4/02/2012 10:32 pm

    Awon boys mi da?

  5. @kpozo4 : Eva lol !!!lol!!! and lol!!! dats all i can say hope i get to meet u one day

  6. @hisroyaflynes Eva!!!I am coming to your house to take a picture with you immediately I get back home!God bless you more!

  7. Eva,i loved your performance that night,you rocked... God go make you bigger...

  8. Well, d speakers almost messed tins up as well, maybe cuz of d 808's in ur boo000oooMMM.. Anyways, ur dress raised just above ur navel and giving my eyes smtin nice to feed on wen u was twisting ur waist, rmbr?? Lol..nice one..i shoulda caught dt on a tape and put it on replay.. Nice one dear..

  9. Damn! Eva's CRAYYY man!!! Laughed my head off wen u knelt down tho... Wen next ur comin bring saucekid sha ;)... Btw u hav no idea hw much ppl hav ur entire gigo ep... Maad asss.. Nd yea.. "Can u stone ur fada" played itself :D

  10. Yh yh! EL Emcee was here, n I read d article, does dat make me less of a god dat I am? Nooooooo. Eva, nice article. Dis fish cray. But u sha knw say, na so craze d start? U need some yaba left in ur life babe! Lol. Anyhw sha, boredom ff mk me d type dis kind long comment like say na anoda article I dey right. Anyhw sha, I knw say una think say Eva na my person, but una no knw, Eva na my personal person, person. U understand? Evaaaa ohhh! Later, make I try shit n baff. Gosh this mallam never commot, I need buy chewing stick! I love you EVA.

  11. Eva'z always keepn it real n dats d ish...I love yo gurl, mo gwease

  12. U̶̲̥̅̊ rockd d shw..nice performance.....evaAlordiah

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Eva Alordiah
Lagos, Nigeria