Yesterday: 6:53PM Tue 20 October 2015 Mind Dumping
I am crying. Why am I crying? Why do I feel this way?
I feel empty.
I want to experience real joy. How do we experience real joy?
Why do I feel like such a different person?
Why do I feel less and less of myself?
I want real joy.
I am in so much pain. I have had a long terrible day.
I see how I can offer myself in service in certain ways. So why don’t I do that?
How do I dedicate my life to service?
I want to serve.
I want to give my life.
I am in too much pain. I do not like how I feel.
I am not going to call anyone. I do not want to call anyone. I do not have anyone to call. What would I do? Call them to cry on the phone? No thank you. I would cry on my own.
I used to have dreams. Big dreams. I am even living some of them now. Yet I am so sad. I am so down. I am sitting down here crying.
I need help.
I am tired.
I am tired of coming back here. I am tired of holding myself back.
I do not want to keep on holding myself back.
I am so sad.
Why am I so sad?
I realize that I want better for myself and my family. I say I want better yet I do not push myself to do better. I lack the will to do anything. Why do I lack the will? Where did my zest for life and enthusiasm go to?
Where do I go from here?
How do I move from here?
What do I really want?
What is my life’s purpose?
What on earth am I here for?
Can you answer any of these life questions above? Please share your thoughts in the comments below.
Today: 7:25AM Wed 21 October 2015
So I had a really bad day yesterday. It was so bad I couldn’t get myself to do anything productive. Finally at 6:50PM I decided I was going to do a mind dump. What a mind dump is, is you writing it all out exactly as it is without trying to feign positivity.
You come face to face with your negative thoughts and negative feelings accept that they are there and run them out of your mind by writing it all out.
And so I typed it all out as it was in my head. And mind dumping like this is a great way to let the negativity out. It is like you write it, look at it, realize how negative your self talk is and then throw it out.
Just last night I wrote that above to myself. Have you ever felt like that? Have you ever just sat down to cry for no reason at all but the simple fact that crying is all you can do?
For a long time now I have really felt this way, swooning in and out of this negative energy and drowning myself in it again and again.
Yesterday was different however, it wasn’t just a simple cry of despair, it was an agonizing call for help. I needed something, anything, to pull me out of the hole I had been digging myself in.
Just before I went to bed last night, I lay down and prayed desperately to God for help. And I said “Please grant me life in abundance and help me to wake up energized and refreshed and ready to work.”
When I woke up this morning at 5:45AM that was exactly how I felt. Energized and much better, even happier than yesterday!
It was like I slept like one person and woke up as a better different person.
I have decided that I am going to work myself one piece at a time till I raise my energy and vibration naturally and I am not going to throw myself into unnecessary tantrums anymore.
So I am sharing this with you now, knowing that you may be going through something that is eating you up alive. Or maybe not you, might be someone you know.
All you have to do is dump all the negativity by writing it out, and then ask for help from the only person who can really help you.
After months and months of going back and forth hovering around all that negative energy and drowning myself in self sabotage, I look back now and realize how I am absolutely responsible for how I feel. How I feel is my responsibility and I can allow myself feel just as good as I allow myself feel bad.
It is unbelievable how much of a change can happen in under 12 hours!
I cannot believe how better I feel this morning.
So friend, I implore you to mind dump today all the negativity that you may have allowed eat you up alive.
You are smiling but not really smiling. Someone asks “How are you today?” And you say “Oh great!” But you really feel like shit.
You feel like you are Alive but not Living. You are processing over and over in your mind how bad things are looking and you literally cannot get yourself to feel good about anything.
You are experiencing so much internal turmoil and it feels like someone is driving jagged knives through your body.
You want to talk to someone about it but you know they wouldn’t understand. No one understands but you.
Life is hard, yet so simple my friend.
Life can be even harder on you if you let it beat you to the ground.
I have done enough of that to myself and all my suffering would be to waste if I cannot share with you how you too can end yours.
Mind-dump today like your life depends on it, because it does!
Write yourself a letter. Write out how you feel. Be sincere with yourself. It is a personal note to self. Use the exact words that express how you feel.
When you are done, read it back to yourself and realize how much of a better person you are than what’s on the page. Then tear it up. Tear it up, let it go.
Just before you go to bed, pray. Genuinely ask for help and a refreshing of your soul and watch what happens in the morning.
When you wake up, arise in Gratitude. Offer prayers of thanksgiving and wear a smile on your face.
Life can be simple.
Stop being hard on yourself. You would be fine I promise. Smile. 8:01AM