Does he miss me? I don’t know. He hasn’t sent a message or called me or anything to indicate that he thinks about me like I think about him.
But I do think about him. Several things bring him to mind, music, activities, places, smells, food, anything. This of course is normal for anyone moving on from a relationship they were deeply invested in, so I’d be going against my humanness if I were to deny how I feel.
I don’t want to deny it.
I don’t want to hide.
Accepting it, Knowing it, feeling what I feel and letting the energy flow through me is the first step I have found to healing and letting go.
Apparently I am going to have to keep doing this, keeping the distance, until I can finally say I have gotten over him.
I love relationships, I really do. I love the bonding, the sharing, the growing together, the knowing yourself through someone else, the kisses, the friendships, I really love relationships. But I also love being single.
Breakups do a lot of good for us if we are willing to see the bright side of it.
For one, you are afforded the opportunity to get together with yourself again and align with the lessons a breakup serves to teach you.
If you are open to growth, you mostly certainly would be able to identify areas of your life needing attention that are suddenly illumined by a breakup. Often times in the beginning we do not see it, but as time passes, we come to appreciate the new space that we have and the opportunity for growth that it presents.
1. Don’t think that jumping in with someone new would help alleviate the pain or help forget your ex. This is often a mistake and we unfortunately end up where we started and most times break up with this new person.
Another relationship isn’t going to help you get over the past relationship. That’s not its job and if that is what you are expecting of it then you are not being fair to this new person.
What would happen is you’d be projecting your insecurities and emotional trauma from the past on this new person and overwhelm them with negativity that they have not bargained for.
2. Work to Enjoy your new space and time with yourself. This is hard to do at first especially when you are constantly reminded of your ex. But if you focus all of your energies on working to improve yourself then you would be too busy to think. The plan is to be so busy becoming a better you that you do not even have enough time to think of or miss the past.
The work for you right now is to become the person you’d like to date in the future. What characteristics and disciplines would you like for this person to possess. You must know. You have to know what kind of person you want to be with else you’d end up with anyone. The truth is you are simply looking for you in someone else or through someone else.
So it’s a win win for you to become the You that you seek to love and love you so much that when this new person comes in your life, they come to dance in that love that you have already created and that they already have because you can only attract what you are at all times.
3. Give your ex breathing space. Yes you are in pain and hurting, but calling them up all the time to talk about it is certainly the kind of move that pushes them farther off. You don’t want to give them more affirmation that they made the right move by breaking up with you.
If you have been apart for a long time without any communication, I guess it’s okay for you to send a text to check in. But don’t send messages expressing how you miss them so badly and want them back.
If you send a text and they reply, fine. If they don’t, fine. In another post I’d share with You how this move might potentially be a bad move.
When you understand that Life is constantly working for you, you’d come to appreciate the ups and downs of life. There has to be a balance.
You might find yourself with someone better in a short time, if you focus on doing the work to grow you. And when that happens you’d be certainly grateful for this breakup.
4. Contain your emotional and mental energies. Energy is what life is made up of. Everything is energy. If you are constantly thinking of your past, you are letting yourself hang on there energetically. Life is pulling you forward, always, toward something better if you believe it.
Also when you give your thought power to your ex by thinking about them, you are fueling them energetically. This mental energy can be used for many other things in your life right now. Don’t spend so much time reminiscing on what could have been. Be powerful enough to let the past go and begin to prepare for the wonderful future that awaits you.
5. Give yourself time. It is commendable to take advantage of time. Don’t be in such a hurry for a new relationship. Being lonely sucks, yes I know this, but in loneliness is where a lot of magic happens. You can hear your inner self more, you can be opened up to insights that you may not have been allowing in before, you are able to get to know you better. Allow yourself the pleasure of spending time alone. If a new relationship seems to be budding with someone else, stall it. Discipline your emotional need for someone else. Give yourself a time frame to work with. It would help you have clarity and afford you enough time to work through the lessons from the past relationship.
6. Cleanse your energy. Whatever you must do to rid yourself of old energetic patterns from past relationships, do that. Exercise, fast, eat healthy, do a water cleanse, do a prayer cleanse, meditate, be celibate, decide what it is going to be for you and cleanse the toxic energy of the past.
I am currently working on my Health and fitness, writing some more and staying celibate. I Would update you and let you know how this has been working in a few months.