Breakups are hard, and painful. I of all people should know this.
I have had all kinds of break ups in my short beautiful life. The break up from a crush that you never got to Kiss, the break up from the first boyfriend cause you had to travel all across the country to college, the very painful almost regretful break up from the one you thought was the one, the super dramatic breakup from an abusive boyfriend, even a break up after a ring on the Finger.
I have seen it all, maybe not quite all of it, but I dare say I have seen enough.
Funny enough I am not that girl to quit on Love. I never say “Oh fuck that! Men are scum! I don’t need a man.”
Naaahhh hell no! I love love. I love being with someone and giving them so much love and having them support and care for me too. I still look forward to my next love and as much as I am itching to have it, I know I must wait this one out and I am happily waiting right now.
Often times after the realization of a break up sets in, we become defensive, almost standing on the brink of revenge. We feel revengeful not because we are mean people, but because we feel all of these emotions that tell us the other person has done us a bad thing and they must pay for it.
This can be understandable. You are in pain, you feel helpless. Perhaps they have even done the unthinkable and blocked your number or refused your many calls.
How can they not pay?
Truth is, revenge will only take as much energy from you as you need for your own healing and all of that is really unnecessary.
So what do I mean “Fuhhh shit up?”
You have to bring all of your attention back to you.
First let me share 6 Life Lessons from Breakups and these may be general or specific, some may resonate with you and others won’t.
6 Life Lessons from Breakups
- Break ups afford you new found time for yourself and your goals
- There is always a lesson for you in every relationship and you must seek to find out what it is. People do not simply come into your life for no reason, there’s always something to gain that helps you in the evolution of your soul
- When you go back to reassess what happened, and you ponder on why it happened, you get answers that will help you. You are able to see areas for improvement in your own life
- Break-ups help you understand yourself as a Lover and exposes you to traits that you do not want in your next partner. You also get to understand what you are looking for in a relationship and can now set yourself up to those new standards.
- The pain experienced from Break-ups are very Emotionally Healing and as much as this sounds like an irony, it is a fact. The pain pulls you through a break down and rebuild process that you have no choice but to pull through. And you will be the better for it.
- Now that you are alone, isn’t it wonderful to be able to give yourself your own love?
First I want you to know that fuhhing shit up after a break is really about you, not the other person. You are not trying to get back at them, you are trying to get back to You. The real you, the essence of who you are. You are trying to become an even better you than they left behind. And the coolest thing about all of this is, because you are not up for revenge, you are able to save all your good energy and put it all back into your Healing.
6 STEPS to Fuhhh shit up After A Break-Up
1. Forgive them
Break ups happen for so many reasons. Perhaps your partner may have been emotionally or physically abusive. Or maybe they cheated on you. Stolen from you. Left for no reason at all.
It may sound strange and absolutely uninspiring but forgiveness is the very first step to fucking shit up and healing yourself of the pain.
You cannot fully go forward in life without forging the past.
You must forgive them, and forgive yourself too. Whatever it is. You have to find a way to move on from it.
The reason this is so important is because you will keep yourself stuck the more things you carry around with you that are not forgiven. Forgiveness may seem like it is for the other person but truly, it is for you.
You do not have to call them on the phone to say anything..well not yet.
You only simply have to breathe into it, visualize it and let it go. Say it in your heart as truthfully as you can and fully let it all go.
This is no way easy to do, but the benefits in your life are well worth it.
Now you begin your journey towards healing.
2. Eat Good Food
This is as simple as it sounds. You must eat. Food is such a wonderful gift to man, I can see why it is often the first thing to suffer when we are in pain. We hate how we feel so much so that we skip meals, we refuse food. We just simply want to be left alone.
The truth is you are doing yourself more harm than good by not eating.
The less you eat, the worse you feel. You will lose energy and you won’t feel good generally.
So Eat. Eat good shit. Healthy meals. This is not the time for chocolate and sweets and cake and all that junk. No. This is Avocado time, apple time, some baked potatoes, well spiced home cooked chicken, Vegetables and lots of Water
Eat! Like a boss.
If you really want to fuhhh shit up after a break, now is the time to get your workouts going. Do what you must to break a sweat daily.
You do yourself no good lying on the couch and reminiscing about the past. The past is gone, snap out of it and do not let it stop you from enjoying your wonderfully unfolding life. All of the love you need and deserve are here in the present moment and it truly begins with you.
Working out will not only make you feel good, it will help you feel good.
Set a body goal for yourself.
If you want to take some pounds off, commit to that. If you want to build some muscle, that’s exactly what you are going to do.
Here are two tips to help you workout happily:
. Buy some new workout gear, a few beautiful colorful pairs that look sexy on you. The right gear and clothes in the gym have a sneaky way of making us feel good and do more. So don’t just pick up an old shirt and head to the gym, invest some money in something new and rock on.
. Workout first thing in the morning if possible. Starting your day by breaking a sweat and pushing weights is not just beneficial for your body, it is wonderful for your mind. You set the tone for the rest of your day by how you begin it. So begin with a workout and feel fantastic the whole day long.
. Challenge yourself in your routines. The more you do and push yourself, the better you will feel. You must remember that you are your own biggest judge and you cannot run away from your own judgement. Knowing that you are pushing yourself at something is a good vibe and you want that.
4. De-clutter Your Space
Take a good assessment of your life and notice everything in your space that needs to go.
Old clothes, worn out shoes, things you haven’t used in the past couple of years, everything must go.
The reason for this is simple, You need Energy. Old, worn out items of clothing or personal belongings in your space take up energy. You must clear this old energy out.
De-cluttering your space is something you should generally look forward to doing every once in a while but i have found that doing one de-cluttering round after a break can bring much needed peace and speed up the healing process.
5. Change your Wardrobe:
This isn’t just about changing your wardrobe, buying new clothes and spending money. This is an essential de-cluttering process that will not only revamp your space but clear your mind as well.
6. Pour Energy into your Work, Get your Money up
The bad news is, you may feel lonely. The good news is now you have some more time on your hands. All the disgust, and loneliness and fear, or maybe even hatred that you feel can be channeled towards something useful. Make a genuine commitment to yourself to get your Money up. The focus isn’t so much so on Money per say, but on the energy of advancement, the energy of leveling up, of abundance. Go be more of you.
Commit time to the things that you love to do, the business you want to start, that book you want to write. Go do that thing you have been putting off and go do it well.
They say the best form of revenge is success, but hey, remember, we are not doing that revenge energy over here. That is low vibration and we cannot waste time with that. We are not getting back at anyone, we are getting back to you.
Go get your money up!
I wish you all the Best and Send you a Lot of Love.