So you have been off this relationship for quite some time now and you have begun to feel new energy, that undeniable sense of moving on. You are beginning to enjoy your time alone and day by day you are finding ways to let go.
Or so it seems until something reminds you of your ex; A song on the radio, the smell of food, a name in the book you are reading, their picture popped on your Instagram explore feed.
Ahhh the many things that can jerk your memory of them are endless.
So now you are thinking about them and you begin to imagine what could have been.
You may even think you have done wrong for not fighting for this relationship to work and that sick guilty feeling that you may have failed will cause you to want to correct that failure. Cause we all hate to imagine that we failed at something right?
For many people, it is the feeling that they may never find a love like that again that drives them into self lolling and hurt. They consider the number of months or maybe even years that they spent building the relationship and they cannot bring themselves to let an investment like that go to waste.For many others, it is the Sex. The sex was just so good to pass on. They cannot bare to imagine their ex enjoying what they had with someone else.
I will tackle these scenarios in a second post but in this first post, I really am trying to just get you to understand that the question of going back to your ex has more to do with time than anything else.
When a break-up is still fairly fresh in the memory, the mind will continually trick you with endless possibilities of thought.
Understand how the mind operates. You already have stored memory and vital information for it to work with. It is already used to certain thought patterns. The mind isn’t trying to push you to do anything, it is only trying to help you by offering thought ideas from your memory bank to offer a solution for your present pain or distress.
Your mind will present different scenarios you can act upon based on what memories, ideas, thoughts, concepts and beliefs you may hold presently, but your decision will ultimately be on you.
And so know that it will take some time for your mind to do the necessary adjusting to find solutions for you that have nothing to do with your ex.
But not just time in the sense of time passing, actual time invested in created new powerful thought patterns in your memory bank. And the only way to do this is to spend this time away from your ex living your best life so to speak.
When you allow time pass and work patiently with time, you will soon find that what seemed most important isn’t really as important as you thought.
For instance, you may soon realize all the many good things you have learned about yourself thanks to that relationship and you may even begin to say that the time invested in that relationship was worth it because now you know this and that.
Many couples break up and get back together with the hopes of fixing things and this is always wonderful if both parties are fully involved in the process. If getting back together is a decision they are both individually deciding upon and see it as best for them then this is mutual and healthy.
However if one person is forcing a come back and the other wants nothing to do with it, then it is clear there is nothing to fight for. Why be with somebody who doesn’t want to be with you?
I suggest that if you have reached the final stages of the final breakup of a relationship, even though you might feel like you want them back, stop and allow time.
As time passes you will begin to feel better and lighter. The memories will fade. You will be a different person because you have begun to actively engage in your highest pleasures.
And one day you will realize you do not even want them back. You might even say “I am so grateful I left that person else I wouldn’t have been able to do this or that, meet this person or that.”
However the other beautiful thing about Time is the fact that if these two people were meant to be together for a purpose the Universe deems worthy, then by the inner workings of nature life will circle them both together at a time when they would have become ready to take on the challenges of a relationship together.
If you think about going back to your ex because you are in pain and cannot do without them, it is not the right time.
If you think about going back to your ex because the sex was so good and you cannot imagine sex with someone else, it is not the right time.
If you think about going back to your ex because you feel like you invested so much in that relationship and don’t want to let it go cause you cannot imagine building from scratch with someone else, it is not the right time.
If you think about going back to your ex because you need to prove to yourself that you are not a failure and you can make the relationship work, it is not the right time.
The right time to go back to your ex is when you both have consciously become aware of your faults and errors and have both come to a place where, out of Love and respect for each other, you want to Work together to Grow together. You may need to stay separated for a while for this to happen but no matter how long it takes, if you were meant to be together for a good purpose to the universe, then by the inner workings of nature, life will circle you back together so that the workings and contribution from your love together can be felt and experienced through all of time and space.
Know that the universe is alive with the energy that causes creation and expansion. Everything in Nature aims towards life and growth. If it is not growing, it will die.
When things break we are tempted to want to fix them, to put it back together as it was. It is human nature, our innate capacity to make things better.
However, sometimes, we must observe and try to understand why they broke instead of rushing in to fix it.
Speaking of relationships now, there are always so many lessons to learn whether the relationship is intact or broken. Give it time, learn the lessons inherent for you and live into your best self while time does it’s work through you and for you. And if you were meant to be together again, everything in the universe will conspire to circle you both back together. Trust Your Process. Go live your amazing life!