#Before1960 Love Yourself, please

‘The unconditional love that you have for yourself is what will ultimately drive everything else about you. If you are not inlove with yourself now, you ought to be. It is the first reason you are here. You are the only one who is going to be with you for the rest of your life. You all the only one who knows your deepest darkest secrets. Everyone else might think they know you, but only you know who are. How about some love for this person you cal self.
I Love myself first. That way I can love you.’

Credits – Brainy Quote

#EvaDaily ‘Have Ease in Everything you do’ Wed April 22, 2015

3:42AM
Driving through the night in this neat fancy car we had talked gingerly about a lot of things, until we began to go back and forth on what it was he was going to do with himself for the night. To go back to the island? Or stay? I said stay. Who wouldn’t want him to stay?

3 44AM
If I can’t do it for me, then what is it that makes me want to do it for you?

3 46
 2Pac – I aint mad at cha

3:47AM
From April 21.
“What does it mean to be a beautiful girl?”

A beautiful girl knows that she is beautiful and you don’t have to say it to her. She sees a beautiful person stare at her when she stares at herself in the mirror. She needs no confirmation from no one else cause that which she says about herself is final. So she calls herself beautiful. But not because of what her physical appearance might convey, -that itself is beautifully and wonderfully made in the image of God- but because her soul drives her to reach for the beauty in everything.
She does for herself and never forgets to do for others.
A beautiful girl

 2Pac – I aint mad at cha

4:08AM
From April 21.
“What does it mean to love?”

To love is to forget about yourself and think on things for another. It is to take a major amount of the focus and attention you may have placed on yourself and extend the very same to someone else.
To love is to genuinely want a better choice for someone else. To genuinely expect good things for someone else.
To love is
**
***
Was Interrupted. Matters of the heart.
4 33AM
From April 21.
“What does it mean to be a friend?”
6:03AM
“Was interrupted at 4 33. Matters of the heart.

6 06AM

She pulled him to the side of the hallway, looked straight in his eyes and said to him with a clear firm note in her voice.
“Let’s Fuck when we get back home. I want you.”
He chuckled, a low ringing laugh that brought with it an air of sarcasm.
She smiled, her pretty girlishly-boyish smile which had worked on several men, and women in the past.
She tugged at his belt pulling him forward aiming for the bulge that was beginning to creep up slowly behind the fly of his jeans.

9:53AM
Had a rough night. Do not ever underestimate the power of a good night’s sleep! A friend and I were speaking yesterday and he said to me “Food, Sleep, Water and Love, thats all we live on”.

10:00AM
If I do not start my day doing all of the following I am short changing myself.
-Meditation, Prayer, Worship
-Reading something Powerful
-Writing a wakeup journal. Morning mind dump
-Working out
-Eating breakfast and drinking Water
-Creating the day. Visualization

How do you start your day?
Do you have a routine that helps to keep you healthy and focused through the day?
Yesterday I had a very awesome day!! Everythung I had planned to do was successful and I found myself gliding through it all in Love.
Even after spending the whole day on my feet at photoshoot, I still had enough energy to go on and on if I had wanted to.
I started the day with a Prayer. A special moment that my best friend and I had shared.
The fulfilling part of prayer is when we pray for our friends, loved ones and enemies. As you pray for yourself, pray for your spouse too, your family and friends, and if it is not too much to ask, Pray for them by name.

“Today I go forth in Love and I find Ease in everything I do.” 10:08

11:09AM
Breakfast:  Spaghett, Fried Plantain, Fish
 Ron Kenoly – Let everything that has breath

11 42PM
You do it. Because

1:11
A says to B “These people who asked us to come do this thing, they want to do it on Wednesday oh. You know typical Nigerians, everything rush”, a sharp look of a serious lack of interest dressing his face in royaly shades of the words “I am not sure we should do this, Might not be that important or what our time.”
B immediately seeing how there was an opportunity looming in the task that presented itself to be done,

1:18PM
***
Was Interrupted. Phone call from a very beautiful #AlordianGirl @waa_yay
OMG!! She makes me happy. Hot fire spitter. Already told her to send me some of her music.  The few I have watched and heard already from Gray Jones have put me in a very comfortable position of “I am gonna listen to you!”

1:20PM
A very important part of communicating, after Listening of course, is knowing when to get out.

1:24PM
 Logic – Under Pressure 
1 26

It is a relatively cool Lagos day. At least in this time and moment with the generator on and powering the house and the AC giving maximum life.
She has gotten herself in a very relaxed position on her bright blue yoga mat, notepad in hand, her thoughts arranging and planning the day ahead into several To-do compartments.
As she is busying herself in the shelves of her mind,
she remembers the harddrive. Although she isn’t quite sure if it was in the car, she still desired to go…

1 28
What is good for the goose may or may not be good for the gander, it all depends on the gander’s perception of what is good for him.

1:31
Everytime I am talking on the phone I am talking to a fan.

1 38PM
“My Life? It all depends on who I decide to choose for me. Myself or them.”

1 40PM **from 1:26
..she still desired to go check to be sure. But as she pondered on whether she wanted to make the journey from her room all the way out to the parked car outside, she immediately did not want to be removed from her now very comfortable position. She was in her zone. No one was gonna take her out of it if she wasn’t ready to leave. Not even a damn important harddrive could make her stand up today.
The plan? Ask him to go get it.
Seems like they were both in a “I am not getting out of this zone zone” because as she was thinking of sending him message he was doing the exact thing!
“Shey we can turn off this gen now?” He inquires of her, fingers signally an ‘abi?’ with his eyes squinting.
“We might as well save the fuel,” he adds just to drive home his point that the gen had to go off.
“Ehnnn ok.” Was her quick sharp response baring raising her head off her notepad to look at him.

Apparently no one wants to get up and go out of this room. But somebody gotta do it.
So she nose dived into the opportunity laid out for her
“Oh bae, Please turn it off for me would you,” her puppy eyes batting lashes.

1 59mIfvuou decide that this is what you have to start doing it is to now decide how am I going to start doing this eegilarly
It is about building systems

One of the things I want to start tdoing is to review my the notes everyday.
It is very important to just know the systems you want to use and make them happen. To buils these goos habits that you fuel will help u thru life
Somethings you just do and you

to be concious enough that you just want to help people and bless people.

2 06
“Look at this bitch”, he says with disgust as his eyes rise up to the ceiling. he is talking about a roach. The sometimes flying thing crawling on the short white wall of the small room
‘Cockroach!’, She shrieked. She hated them. When they flew all around or gingerly just crawled on by like an accepted guest of the house. Every funmigation attempt on the house had either not seen the light of day or had gone on without any major effect on the creeping and crawling things.
He gets up and co

2:16
People want to see you do what you do. Get up there. Stop fighting yourself. go out and do what you say you wanna do. Do it for you. Then do it for People

2 29PM
I am going to begin giving value, to myself and others around me everyday.
As i want to be better I want others to be better too.

2 46
I am so grateful that my skin gets better and better everyday!
I have stayed away from harsh or supposedly chemically potent products for a really long time now and that makes me super proud.
I remember I used to be so awfully frenzied about having a break out here or there and everywhere, how this or that was imperfect or at least not as perfect as I wanted and I wanted improvement. And it was numerous product after product, trying this and that in a desperate attempt to flee the humiliation of been seen with thing causing us all this trouble
It is ok I assure you, absolutely ok to see something you do not like about yourself and want to change it or make an improvement.
However the truth is that the first improvement you want to make is the improvement of your perception of things. Your perception of yourself.
If you are seeing things about yourself physically that do not meet up your standards of who you think you should look like, and you haven’t yet defined your perception of who you are on the inside, then there comes a big conflict for you.
But unfortunately the truth is we are judged by our appearance first. The visual perception of things is of couse an all too important member of the human’s higher mind faculties.

5 32PM
At ten strings

5 52
now at my Auditions in tensttings. Cant keep typing. have to focus. just to update

7 44
If you are going to so something, do it better than the people who started it.

7:50
Off to the studio with Tin and then to industry night.

7:51

10:59PM
Made dinner for ths boys. They are all gone now and I am all alone in my tiny little world.

#EvaDaily “What does it mean?” Tue April 21, 2015

10:24AM
What does it mean to be a beautiful girl
What does it mean to love?
What does it mean to be a friend?
What does it mean to serve?
What does it mean to be rich?
What does it mean to be poor?
What does it mean to trust?
What does it mean to give?
What does it mean to be happy?
What does it mean to cheat on a spouse?
What does it mean to fall in love?
What does it mean to teach?
What does it mean to be faithful?
What does it mean to be yourself?
What does it mean to be beautiful?
What does it mean to keep it real?
What does it mean to help?
What doss it mean to focus?
What does it mean to think of others?
What does it mean to be at ease?
What does it mean to have disease?
What does it mean to be Me?
What does it mean to love me?
What does it mean to pray?
What does it mean to pray for others?
What does it mean to be a wife?
What does it mean to be a husband?
What does it mean to succeed?
What does it mean to fail?
What does it mean to dream?
What does it mean to be satisfied?
What does it mean to let go?
What does it mean to be sexually abused?
What does it mean to be passionate?
What does it mean to love music?
What does it mean to create?
What does it mean to be high?
What does it mean to be independent?
What does it mean to be alive?
What does it mean to be open?
What does it mean to mind your business?
What does it mean to trust yourself?
What does it mean to be a writer?
What does it mean to forgive?
What does it mean to forgive and forget?
What does it mean to have a goal?
What does it mean to be human? 10:50AM

10:59
Going to pack up for photoshoot today. Late already.

11 34
on my way. already 30 mins late. I do not like people waiting for me.

11 39AM
He helps me feel better about myself. I do not have to try.

11:46AM
Isn’t it so amazing what the human mind can do? The farther you stretch it, the farther it takes you. If you stay thinking the same things, you might find yourself doing the same things.

12 01PM

12:03PM
If there is struggle around it, dis-ease sets in. If it is without ease, it is disease.

12:12PM
We have been looking for this place for a while now, circling Opebi like no man’s business
We stopped to ask some men sitting under an umbrella

2:11PM
Been getting my makeup for shoot. Almost done!
Do not ever underestimate the power of the mind. We live in a very beautiful world. If you choose not the see the beauty of it, You’d only see the polar opposite which is all the shit and ugliness. There is beauty in everything.

2 42PM
Awwww I look soooooo pretty right now! Love my makeup! I hope Wana Sambo likes the look.

2 43PM
I love exactly where I am right now. I love this place. Life is good.

8 34PM
Still at photoshoot with Wana and Sunmisola. These photos are looking incredible yoooooo!!!

#EvaDaily 💀 📰 “A very long day” April 20, 2015

6:06PM
At Rodizzio, GRA Ikeja. Business meeting. I love these kinds of meetings. Different people and their opinions. Mostly men. Where are the women? They never seem to be so many. Maybe one or two if any.
I spent the day looking at locations and new spots.
I haven’t had water today. Shit!

6:10PM
Photoshoot with one of my favorite Nigerian designers tomorrow. Wana Sambo. Dreams really do come true. God just has a way of arranging it all in place doesn’t he? Sometimes it feels like you never know what is happening until it all happens and you begin to put the pieces of the puzzle together and it looks like it’s been all set up perfectly from the start.
You begin to feel like ‘Wow! I wish I knew it was all gonna turn out like this I wouldn’t have stressed myself out that much mehnnn’.

6:20PM
I miss Tintin. I haven’t seen him in over a week and it is unreal! Same with Gray. These boys have really done a number on me. I feel weird without them.

6:21
I am gonna think deeply for the next 5mins and write whatever comes to mind after that.

***
Deep thought. I just let it all float out of me. I feel relaxed.
**
6 37
I am in a very creative zone right now.
What does it mean when people say that? Is there really a place we go to? A height we try to reach in our subconcious that is somehow much better to work from, or to produce work optimally?
Everyone talks about it, the zone. Do you?

6 40
I am sitting here, water and glass in front of me on the table, these men talking football. And boxing.

6 41 Dictation

E go stand
Is it working?
It’s working
**silence in the room
Alex!
*Phone ringing – J.Cole.
Alex just walked in. He smells great! Uuuhhh. I like when a man smells great.
Larry Holmes had 48.
He should have avoided that fight. He is just silly
Lewis wanted to do that as well
*laughter*
**
They are watching the commentary on TV.
I’m here like ‘I am going to understand this. One day.’
*Silence*
These guys are in their own planet. Nobody comes close.
Wetin happen to this Argentine?
Maybe he is not happy
It is a combination of factors, from fatigue to….

*A waiter comes in to serve bottles of Guinness. I am very tempted to have a bottle right now but I am having water. Let’s see how long I can keep my eyes off it.*

Alex!
Sir?
Which team you dey support?
You wan cast me for here
Which one.
Red devil

This conversation is boring jor. I am done dictating.

6 49
Why don’t guys talk about something else? Is it because this is a business meeting?
Ok you know how I told you at 6:06 that there weren’t many women here. Ok there are 2 more now.
Even at that must the men talk only football? Can someone explain this to me? How everytime they sit together this is the topic that keeps them talking?

6 52
Going to read till 7:30.
7 05
Harry Porter and the Sorcerer’s stone
**Couldn’t read Harry Porter. Meeting took over.

**
****
9:16PM
Just got home. Meeting took forever. But it was really good. I am beginning to really like these corporate guys.
Lord knows I am going to kill Osa7 today.

9 22PM
I wonder sometimes why we never talk about sex. In this country? Or better yet why we talk about it in a hush hush mode. Everybody kinda just goes about it hypocritically, hush here hush there.
I wondered yesterday what it was like to be a teenager today. In this fast paced everything-at-your finger tips world of the internet?
There is definitely a poor education on sex. And sexual relations..
Parents don’t want to talk about it with you, siblings don’t say anything about it either. All you have ia TV, the internet and what else is there to give you the information you need.
Imagine the information everyone is consuming.
I vote proper sex education in schools. It is Penis. It is Vagina. Why are you so ashamed to call it by its name? Why is it so awful to say it? And then teach us about the gift and the curse of it all. Then maybe let us the power of will in these matters still?
Parents if you do not teach your kids certain things yourselves, someone else will teach them for you. Why lose the power of being your child’s first teacher??
Oh Lord! And why in heaven do they think dumping us in school after school is enough? For the most part, I think the formal education is hardly any education at all compared to what could be passed down from parents to kids.
Wait. What is education really?

Receive Voice messages from me Weekly! #EvaAnswers1

Remember #EvaSays? Yeah well, that is old news now and we can officially put an end to its era. It was fun but not exactly fulfilling for me, which was why I stopped in the first place.
I realized that I wanted more than just sending you voice notes and mp3s of my random musings, I mean, how does that improve my relationship with you?

I have been trying to get us to be best of friends for such a long time now, I literally wake up every morning looking and pondering on a what new ways we can get this relationship of ours on a better footing. If you are a fan that means you most probably listen to my music twice as many times as I do myself and hence probably even know me just as much as I know myself.
So what does that make you dear #Alordian? Aren’t you my dear fan? And friend?

I know you have a great many questions for me, I mean I wake up to hundreds of them everyday on my Twitter and Instagram, and I have decided I would answer as many as I can on those platforms but also
So! Do you have questions you would like for me to answer via audio and video messages? Simply type them in the comment box below in this post, or ask me on Instagram and Twitter with hashtags #EvaAnswers #EvaAnswers1

I would be posting all voice messages and video messages from #EvaAnswers every Friday! Which means if you want to receive answers from me you have to get posting right away!

My head is Bald & my Chi is back! #Before1960

I woke up one hot Lagos morning, NEPA/PHCN arrived work early on this day because evidence of their diligence was roundabout my surroundings and had successfully permeated my present reality.
My house was stuffy and I was feeling a bit squishy-squashy uncomfortable.
I got off my bed and set about my normal morning routine. Not much of a routine on this day however as I dropped each task I was to do without at all doing them long enough to focus completely, let alone finish.
So I didn’t go out for my morning jog with Frankie, my alsatian room mate, neither did I make myself breakfast at 8AM as I had promised myself that I would a week prior.
I was also only able to read just a few verses in an early chapter of the Psalms before my wandering undecided state of mind dropped the Holy book in search of something else to focus on.

This was my procrastination phase. Each one us receives this visitor personally in one way or another and I knew this visitor so well cause I had served him before, a dependable and extra caring hostess I had been to him.
I wanted to do something. I knew what it was but I just couldn’t get myself to do it.

Here’s what I know from real life experience..everytime there is something bothering me so badly to the point where I am literally a walking slobbing mass of flesh on the surface of this beautiful earth then it is only because the better version of me needed attention.

That is as simple as I can put it at this point.

So here I was, standing tall and naked in front of my full length mirror barely appreciating what stared back at me, my life companion whom I had stressed through my journey here. She just stood there behind the glass staring back me and know i didn’t quite feel as much love for her as she felt for me.
“So what are we gonna do now Eva?” was what she seemed to be asking me as her warm brown eyes peered through the glass and focused on me.

We are going to play a game I decided. We are going to play combs and scissors, and clippers, and chop off what was left of my hair.  Go bald baby! Do it do it! What kind of a silly game is that?

But it wasn’t just a game, it was exercise. Exercise of the will.
Here I was, with all these many things to do, releasing an album, shooting videos, editing videos, running after Tintin and his beards, checking on family, being with family, caring for Frankie, living with Frankie, loving Le Boo **or at least trying my best at it**, in touch with #Alordians, and doing everything else but Her.
So creating a challenge like this had to help didn’t it?
I think it did though cause there was a new lease right after I was through with my self imposed challenge. I began to almost do everything and everything after that.

Do you understand what I am saying to you?

“Sometimes life spins you around and around so many times till your head is literally dripping dizzy you almost begin to lose balance with yourself..”

There’s a spark in the dark
No not from NEPA but from a message on my phone
The screen lights up in vibrant colors
If it could have had scent it would smell like flowers
Aren’t all flowers named after scents? Jasmine, Rose, Lavender.
Or did scents exist before flowers?
If we were to go by Biblical records chronologically
Wouldn’t we say God made the plants and flowers on the third day
In which case then all scents would be said to be named after flowers
and not the other way as I was earlier quick to buttress
“I love you” is all the text that was sent in the message.
Le Boo on a mission…

A tiny little being I was as a child
Frail and skinny but my mind was wild
I played with the boys
I even shared their toys
For barbies and teddy bears were a sight I couldn’t bare
I never was a girly girl
And I didn’t care for curly hair
One time I remember
I stood up on a raised concrete
it was a cold day in November
“Hey Look!” I yelled out to my brother
“I am going to pee like a boy!” my hands raised as if in surrender
I let my pants fall to the floor
My baby pink urinaries everyone saw
And there I was
Standing up straight waiting for the leak
But just as it began to rain out of me I felt the coldest wind against my cheek
It was but a swift swishy swooshing of air for the next thing I felt
Was my face in the dirt
Lo! I had been pushed off the concrete by my Brother
My face, hands and legs down in urine and water
“You are a girl! Pee like a girl!” He yelled out to me and everyone else in range to hear
Now I do not intend to convey to you that I wanted to be a boy
For never has the thought crossed my mind
All I ever wanted to do was play in the fields the boys played
It was for me a fiercer competition than the girls displayed
If it was tough, It was for me.
I am tough.
Life itself has been tougher than I and my smooth girly sides have been roughened by it

#Before1960
This amazing shoot captured by visual genius @emmanueloyeleke 📷📷

 www.1960thealbum.com

BTS Photos and more on set of “War Coming”

This is my favorite video right now! Yea I know that is weird cause duhhh it is my own video right, and I had a hand in creating it right? I wish I could be modest. I just can’t help it. This is my favorite music video ever!! heehe. Ok maybe that is a little over the top.
The song “War Coming” is one of those songs on my album that I sincerely cannot get over. We got in the studio to make this song and it was all so magical and incredibly special. Tosin, famously known as D’Guitar was the amazing talent on the lead guitars, that’s what you hear when the song begins. We got in the studio together to make this song and we didn’t even know what the song was going to be. But as soon as D’Guitar began to strum those chords, the melody fell right out of my mouth and I remember it like yesterday, what you hear on the final chorus of the song “War Coming” is the very first thing that came to mind.I really just ran with it.
I think this is my favorite scene. Ok one of. LOL
And then Sir Dauda, who I definitely have to work with again, lays a verse on the song and it is everything you knew it was supposed to be. Then he called it ‘Just-a-freestye’. Just a Free what?? Dude is straight up nuts with this! And a superb writer too. Was such a pleasure to have him on this song.
Oh shoot! Back to the video.
Sir Dauda. Swaaaaaggggg!

So it is actually a really loooooooong story, I am going to try my very best to keep it short and sweet. Please note that I am doing my best not to bore you right now and I also have to make sure you get the movie of this gist.

It was a really dark night and Mex, the director who is also a very good friend of mine, fixed call time for shoot at 8PM.
We had all initially spent the day rehearsing our routines, which we had been on the whole week before shoot day. Raphael, the choreographer wouldn’t leave anything undone. It all had to be perfect. The girls had to bring it, and the boys had to own their routines like men. Raphael was bent on making sure that happened. Perfectionist. Which is why I work with him.

Imagine how tired everyone was. We didn’t leave the dance studio until about 5PM which left us only a very short time to prepare.
I got home, stared myself in the mirror and realized “Oh shoot! My hair isn’t quite right!”. And hell no it wasn’t. I had colored it blonde a day before hoping that I would like it like all my other blonde dos, but this one just be like local tinz. I hated it.
So in the little time that I had to think of something, I decided I was going to paint my hair with white paint! Did I do it? Before nko! I snapped up my bottle of white body paint and began to paint it into my hair. And the result was amazing!! It came out buttery and milky in tone and it was all difficult to figure out and that was why I liked it. In my mind I was creative. Hell Yea I was!

Raphael, middle

I needed someone to take the images for the fashion and styling that I had laid out in my head, and make them come alive. I knew what I wanted, and as I spoke with her for the first time, -Gloria Ohiri was her name, She had told me herself before i even had a chance to ask- I could tell that she knew what I wanted too. Even just as much as I knew it.
And oh boy did she come correct! I absolutely enjoyed working with her!
My two and four nigga @theStyleinfidel could not make the shoot but he was all too helpful even though we miles apart and was able to pull off my black get up, Oh and the shoes from www.heels.com.ng was just straight up fire. I have said several times how I badly have to go shoe shopping. I’d be sure to sure you my finds when I do.

Shoes! These were from www.heels.com.ng


Please Click to watch “War Coming” the video below

#Alordian Producers! Send me Music

I have been going through my music archives for the past couple of days and I realize I haven’t exactly let myself out of my zones for a hot minute.
Throughout my very eventful career as a rapper, I have worked with some of the most incredible producers I have ever met. Sossick, I.D Cabasa, Bigfoot, Tintin, Gray Jon’z, my once-in-a-while friend Sarz and T.K.
In recent times I have come across a great many dope joints produced by new and upcoming producers on the block and every now and again, someone sends in a hot beat begging for me to jump on. So I have finally decided, you know what, why not?

If you are a producer out there reading this right now and you perhaps, maybe or maybe you haven’t thought of affording me the pleasure of gracing your song, well I am here now!
Please send me a beat you think is super F’ing dope that you will like for me to jump on. If I like it, I will let you know and we can finalize all paper-works necessary towards having us create magic together. Quick tip: I love emotion and feeling. The music has to have some sort of life about it that it could breathe on its own. Let me know you put your heart in this.

So what say you?

Send your beats to woltrkmusic@hotmail.com
I am looking forward to hearing from you!

Make comments below if there is something you want me to know. Also if you are reading this and know a dope producer out there, hit him up on my behalf!

Sometimes, Self Love over Selfies

UuurggGHH!! Selfie! I think it’s been quite a while since I randomly took selfies of myself. I have fallen in and out of love with taking selfies several times in the past year. All the running around and trying to get work straight has set me up for a lonely selfie ride. I barely even remember to snap out my phone and take a picture, no matter how long I spent getting my makeup done that day.
It’s funny how you go from wanting to take Selfies all the time to literally not even remembering to do so. So what happened Eva? Too busy? Is that really the reason or did you just fall out of Love with yourself?

You know, Infact I think I did!

This might be funny to some and might even come across as total gibberish, but truth is we all go through this phase of falling out of love with self in different ways. It is what keeps us knowing what we deserve, what we should settle for and what we shouldn’t. In my case, I completely became some sort of recluse, locked myself away in my small crib of a shell refusing to come out even to hang out with friends or share a drink with someone who cared enough to ask me out.
So what happened?
I was Lost gaddemeeet!
No that isn’t quite the best way to put that. I hate to make it sound like I am some kinda mad person with no clue about the world. As a matter of fact maybe I am.
Because how do you go from wanting to care for your nails, your hair, staring yourself in the mirror every chance you get, checking to see that your makeup is perfect every now and again dabbing some powder here and there, writing journals everyday, wanting to go shopping to get yourself something new and pretty, to not even caring what you look like? Literally!
How do you go from enjoying a good time out with friends, picking up a book and indulging your brain, watching a movie without feeling like you are doing yourself a disservice, or even loving what you do entirely, to just going through the days, working your ass off on some project or another. Forming busy? Ok oh

I sincerely do not even know how this began, I just woke up one morning and didn’t care about myself enough to care about myself. Isn’t that such a sad thing?
I am slowly coming to terms with it and understanding it for what it is. I fell out of Love with Eva.
There was just so much work, so much stress, so much going on externally that I slowly began to refrain from what was going on internally.

Today however I offer myself to myself. To love, to care, to nurture, to respect- If I don’t take care of myself, who will?
Selfie, or Self Love? You choose.
I do not care about selfies if I do not Love myself. And when I do Love myself, then I can be happy and share that happiness with someone in a low vibrational state. Isn’t that what we are all here for?
To ascend several levels of emotional states each one even more heightened than the next, and then to teach others how to do the same for themselves?

In more posts to come I will share how I am really dealing with this and steps I have taken daily to fall inlove with myself again. But for now, do you like my bathroom selfies?

EvaDaily 15 Feb

#EvaDaily 15 Feb 15
TT:
The only thing they had was water in Dubai.
Their leaders started developing the place, They figured tourism would be a great idea for income.
Oil finishes that’s why the US buys our oil and keep theirs in reserve.

TOR:
Dubai now has new measures for Nigerian Tourists.
There is caution as soon as they see Nigerians.
Its a different kind of treatment.
I was in Korea, just standing and admiring the place. This police man walks up to me and he says  “Where are your papers?”
I touched his shoulder and said to him
“You see that guy over there, and that one over there, have you asked him for papers?
“No No”
“So you come to ask for my papers cause I’m black.”
I say to him “No you are a racist”

TOR:
It flows directly from us. We go to a country and we fuck up that place where we are, We fuck up our house and fuck up other people’s houses when we are there.


E:
The average Nigerian has to learn to give value to himself. Value only comes from work. 
The problem now is no matter how hard Nigerians work, we still never get good returns for effort put in. It is just a constant cycle of struggle. There is an obvious need to begin to think as hard as we work right now. Work hard, Think Harder.

TT:
Just take steps towards the things you plan everyday. No matter how small.
Whatever you do you stay focused on your part every other thing is noise.
If the money offered is going to help me achieve what i want to achieve then every other thing is noise.

I’m only after me, I’m focusing on what I want to get.
Just ask if this thing is of any benefit to you. You know what you can get out of it, fine


TOR:
This man in Qatar said to me 
“Mr T are you from Nigeria?
Your country rich like us but your leaders stupid stupid stupid
You see I very rich, every person rich but we as rich we see the people we make provisions. We move around the city free, no cry no crime no stoning.
Cause we too rich so we make them comfortable
So your country, is it hard make comfortable everyone? Why not?
Suleja walks into the room and immediately settles himself comfortable in the only chair in the space.
His legs swinging in every direction above th e ground.
I say to him “Have you eaten?”
“Yes, now now now”
“What’s that in your mouth, gum?” I am puzzled by his constant chewing of something
“No oh!” he exclaims “Na chin gum”.
We all burst out in a long trail of laughter that enveloped the tiny room.