BLUE FILM – Eva Alordiah (Short Short Story)

 an excerpt from the new novel “How I ended my Monday? ALONE, AGAIN”

December was always a dusty, earth dried,  skin-mottling month. The cold winds of the early mornings usually delivered the stench of the gutters right to your doorstep. You could smell Christmas in the air, always a confusing mix of smells but with a feeling that seemed new every year.

It was always a short holiday off school, but long enough for visits to the neighbors,  to Aunties and Uncles who were not really Aunties or Uncles,  to the village where a tourist of extended family would gather around her father’s old Peugeot 506 car animatedly, admiring the machine.
It was on of those visits to an Uncle who was not really an Uncle, that Aisha saw for the first time a film described as ‘Blue’.
With her big brother leading the way that morning, they had both walked the narrow dusty path to Uncle Stanley’s house accompanied only by a deafening silence between them. Aisha held a basket loaded with bottles of Coke,  Fanta, and a bowl of rice and chicken in a lanky, too thin hand.  Her brother had the earphones of his Walkman plugged to his ears, an act that spoke loudly of his desire to be left alone.
He was angry, hunching his shoulders and walking zig-zaggedly along the path in front of Aisha.
Their mother had scolded him just moments before,  getting him off the wooden stool on which he’d been sitting by yanking him by up by the ear. 


“You didn’t hear me calling you!” She’d yelled at him.
“That silly game you are always playing has turned you deaf yes?”


Then she proceeded to yank the electric cord of the game from behind the console, sending the TV into a quick death with only a bluish-black screen in its wake.
He had been in the middle of a game he loved,  probably already winning points or maybe even almost at a finish. 


“You and your sister should come and go to Uncle Stanley’s place to drop this rice.” Their mother ordered. 


The boy had grumbled his way into a grey threadbare shirt, grabbed his Walkman and headed for the door without waiting to see if his sister was following behind.
Aisha could make sense of his anger and feared the consequences of trying to speak to him. She kept a short distance between them, juggling her attention between the growing pain in her arm from carrying the basket and the whistling of the birds in the big mango trees flanked on either side of the path.
When they arrived at Uncle Stanley’s, they met him standing just outside his door with his hands in his pockets observing his dog.
The dog was settled quietly in its cage,  seemingly lethargic, and Uncle Stanley had worry deepening the lines of his face that had come with age.
It was hard to tell how old he was. He didn’t seem to go to work every morning like the other adults in the neighborhood,  and his shirts were always buttoned wrongly as if somebody had forced him to cover up.
Aisha did not know how they were related, only that he came visiting once every other Saturday or Sunday when their parents were home. He never gave her crisp N5 notes like her other Uncles who came visiting. 


“Ah! Christmas has come to my house o!” he said as they approached him,  removing his hands from his pockets now, spreading them out,  palms facing upwards.
“Uncle Stanley Good morning sir,” Aisha greeted in that sing-song type of voice you’d expect from a seven year old.
Her brother,  Hassan slapped his palm loudly into Uncle Stanley’s in greeting. He was fifteen and liked to do things the way the older adults did them.


“I think this dog is sick again,” he muttered,  half concerned.
“Eyaaa, poor Bingo.” Hassan said.

Bingo.
Aisha did not approve of the name. The brown furred dog appeared to need a bath more than it needed medication. She liked dogs,  but not this one.
“How are your parents?” Uncle Stanley inquired,  taking the basket from Aisha and relieving her of the burden that had weekend her lanky hands.
He opened the door and left it ajar as they followed behind. 


“They are fine sir,” Aisha responded.  Hassan had freed his ears of the earphones whose cord now hung out of his pocket where the Walkman was.
“Ha, thank God o,  see film.” Hassan said delightedly, picking up the remote control and pushing on the volume button. It was clear that he had no plans of heading back home just yet as he now settled himself sloppily on one of the only two sofas in Uncle Stanley’s dingy apartment.
It was not like their house.  Their house with its large front yard and marble floors.
Uncle Stanley’s carpets were ripping in several spots, and his house smelled of something that may have gone bad in his fridge. Fish?  Stale beans? Perhaps a dead rat under one of these sofas.
Aisha shivered at the thought.
Slow, sensual music buzzed from the TV set now and Hassan appeared already fully engrossed.
Perhaps he was taking out his frustration on their mother by refusing to head back immediately?
Aisha knew she would have to wait it out with him as she was not allowed to walk by herself.


“Aisha come take this basket back for your mother,” Uncle Stanley called out from the kitchen.
It was a very small kitchen,  with dirty pots atop one another just sitting in the sink begging to be washed.
The kitchen was humid and smelled worse than the parlor.
Uncle Stanley was standing against the sink,  washing out the bowl their mother had sent,  and letting the water run over the pots.
It was as though he wasn’t seeing them. When he was done,  he dried the bowl with a dirty rag he pulled off the window bars, then used the same to mop his wet hands. 


“Fine girl how are you?”
Aisha looked up at him then took her eyes away. He was staring down at her in a way that made her feel uncomfortable.
“Fine. Sir.”
Suddenly he knelt before her and held her tiny shoulders firmly, looking at her as though he were searching for something he had lost.
Then he pulled her into a too-tight hug, rubbing his palm on her back.
Aisha could hear the TV,  a man’s voice was saying, “Let’s get the money and fuck this bitch up.. “
Then Uncle Stanley released her from his hug with a jolt as though something had shocked him.
“I love you.” he said,  “Say you love me too.”
Aisha had heard those words on TV a couple of times. Her father said the same to her and her mother did too. Mrs Sambo, her elementary teacher always made them say the words, “I love you but God loves you more” every morning at assembly.
However Uncle Stanley’s ‘I love you’ felt different to her. There was dread in his tone and she feared that if she did not respond,  something bad would happen. Perhaps he would make her chew on the dead rat that now seemed to be right around the sink behind them. 


‘I love you too,” Aisha muttered meekly.
“Good girl,” Uncle Stanley said and kissed her fully on her mouth. He sucked on it for a moment before releasing it.
“Good girl. Don’t let anyone know you do bad things.”
Then he got up,  straightened his shirt with his palms and proceeded to the basket.
She just stood there,  moping at her feet which where straddled in sandals, knotting and unknotting her fingers.
“Tell your mother I’d bring the mineral bottles after. Take,” He handed her the basket which now contained only the empty bowl.
Was she supposed to leave?
Aisha had become suddenly unaware what time do next.
When she began to walk back into his small parlor,  she didn’t know if she was walking because her legs were carrying her or because Uncle Stanley’s hand was on her small back inching her forward. 


“Uncle Stanley this is blue film abi?”
Hassan asked excitedly as they walked in.  He didn’t appear angry anymore.
Uncle Stanley only laughed.
“Me I want to watch it finish o.” Hassan returned his attention to the TV now,  seemingly oblivious of his sister who stood only a few feet away,  holding the basket now with both hands.
“Come and sit Aisha,” Uncle Stanley motioned to a stool beside the unoccupied sofa and settled himself in it.

“You people can finish the film then go home,  it’s almost over.”
Aisha noiselessly placed the basket on the floor in a corner by the door and made her way to the low wooden stool beside the sofa in which Uncle Stanley now occupied.
Uncle Stanley took her hand in his when she sat and squeezed firmly on it. Then he winked at her and returned his attention to the TV.
On the screen now,  a man had just pushed a women onto a bed,  yelling at her while she scrambled through the sheets.
He jumped into the bed and began to tear her clothes off,  exposing her breasts. Aisha could not tell if the woman on TV was screaming in delight or fear. The woman’s face goes from smiling to pleading to agony.
The man began to kiss her savagely,  on her mouth,  her face,  her exposed flesh.
Aisha looked away and as she did she came eyeball to eyeball with Uncle Stanley who’d been smiling down at her the whole time.
Feeling the dread again,  she turned her face the other way,  avoiding the TV, avoiding Uncle Stanley’s glare,  and just focused on the basket by the door.
When they got home that afternoon they had explained to their mother that Uncle Stanley kept them welcome for longer. 


They didn’t talk about coming home late because they had been watching a film and Aisha didn’t tell her Mother what Uncle Stanley had done.
She only went upstairs to her room,  closed the door and refused to have dinner.
She was in there till the next morning. 


to be cont. (Make Sure to Check back on the Blog for updates)

_______________________________


WANT TO READ THE FULL BOOK?
GET 2 BOOKS FOR 1! 

Pre-Order ALONE AGAIN and Receive ‘I WAS SMOKING WEED’ for Free!



Still in That Negative Funk? GET YOURSELF OUT! A 30DAY PLAN FOR SUCCESS

I get it, Life can be Hard, things are tough, the Money comes and it leaves as though it had wings.  You have lost your Passion, in fact you don’t even know what you are Passionate about anymore. Life just seems so bleak and you wonder if it is Something Wrong with you, or if God is just cruel. Is there even really a God, you ponder? Why is he making you suffer?
I understand where you are right now friend.

I understand this because I have been there. And I was there for so long until I began to uncover a Very important truth about Life.

Some call it the Secret. People have been speaking about this for ages.
YOU ARE WHAT YOU THINK.
All of Life’s issues can be solved if you’d look at these 5 words really Closely and read them over and over till it makes sense for You. You must understand this: The Way you are feeling now is in direct correlation to the Thoughts You are thinking, Good or Bad.
The moment you are able to begin to guard your Thoughts, and Choose consciously to engage your Mind with thoughts of a more Positive nature, your Life begins to take an energetic shift.

But how? How Can I think Positively when Everything is so Negative you say? 
See, that right there is the Problem. 

For Your Life to Change, it first has to change in
HOW YOU SEE THINGS.
Vision is a very Powerful gift that we have. Both inner and outer Vision. Your Perception of what is going on in your Life is formed from your Inner vision.

First you see things in the physical world, your brain processes the circumstances and tries to make sense of it and in your Mind, you give the Physical World Power by the Thoughts you Think.

And the power of thoughts is such that One Thought invokes another of its kind and another and another and it becomes a spiral of thoughts in the same energetic Frequency.
So if you are harboring a Negative thought, it would breed another negative thought of its kind and so on.
And if you instead think on Positive things and begin to see things differently, you get those Positive thoughts breeding on other Positive thoughts.

So for instance, you might not have enough Money right now for the things you need to do.

Perception 1: I am Broke. I don’t have Money again. What kind of Life is this? Was I just born to suffer? Who can I call to borrow me money. I hate my Life. I’m so tired of everything.

Perception 2: It’s time to learn to Stop Being Broke. This time of less and less is really making me think some more about my Life. What have I done to create money problems? I know I am a Valuable and Worthy Person, but how Can I materialize this Value in Cash physical equivalent? What can I begin to Do to Increase my income?


As one thoughts breeds another of its kind, you observe from the two examples above that one Perception breeds only thought patterns that are Negative while Perception 2 breeds positive thought patterns. While the former creates even more problems, the latter hints at Solutions.

You cannot get anywhere by Worrying. All of the Power lies within you.
But first you must change how you See things because it is by function of How you Perceive things that you are then Able to either Think Negatively or think Positively and depending on how you are thinking, It would be reflected in your Feelings.

How You Feel is the Perfect Indication of what kind of Thoughts you are Thinking. Your Feelings point toward the Mindstate. If Your Mind id out of Wack, you’d feel bad. If Your Mind is in a good harmonious State, you feel at ease. And what is the Mind made of? Thoughts. Thoughts, thoughts, thoughts.
Thoughts are the Programming Language of your Mind and you are the One Responsible for the Thoughts you let into your Mind.

Now all of that Said lets Get to Some Action Plan to get you out of this bad state you are currently in.

Every time in my Life that I had felt out of wack, I found that the Solution was to engage myself in Something that mattered to me. When you feel down, you find that you are unable to process things, you want to simply be in bed all day, not go outside, just coil up in your shell and feel bad for as long as is necessary.
While it is important to shutdown sometimes to reaccess your life, taking a Rest that then becomes longer than Rest is counterintuitive and ultimately does you no good.
Anything that makes you feel bad is not of God. Anything that can keep you in a state where you do not want to function to you highest potential is not of God.
If you would succeed in Life, you must be willing to fight back against the invisible forces that hold you Bound. YOU MJUST GET UP AND GET MOVING TO GET DOING.

  1. Find Something you would love to commit to, Something that you know would improve your life if you gave it enough dedicated Time.
  2. Decide that you are Going to do this for 30 Days. Decide also means, COMMIT AND BE WILLING TO PUT IN ACTION.
  3. Begin immediately on this 30 DAY Plan and encourage yourself everyday to keep at it.
  4. If you Slip up and Miss a Day, you have to Start over. Try not to let this happen
What would this do?
This would set you up for Responsibility to a Goal. When you are actively working on Something you Love everyday, you would be engaging your Mind in a new pattern of Action, Solutions, Problem Solving, Life advancement, Not Complaining, begrudging and being unhappy.
Your Job is to simply show up everyday and Do what You Say you’d do whether you feel like it or not. 
You are also going to become a Conscious observer through this process and watch how you Change as a person because of this commitment.

The Plan is to DO.
Make sure you are Up to DOING SOMETHING.
_________________________________________________
A follower Wrote in to me via DM on Instagram sharing with me her very low state of Being. You might be in one right now and so I hope my Response to her below would apply to You as Well.

I am soooooooo sorry for how you feel. I want you to know that you are only feeling this way because you are powering your mind by thinking negatively about things. How you see anything is dependent on YOU and you must Love yourself enough to see Yourself as God Sees you. You won’t get through this phase of your Life without becoming greater than it,  and the only way to do that is to face it and observe what it is all trying to teach you.
Every single Experience is pointing you toward something, And until you know what that is and tackle it,  then that experience would keep repeating itself. You have become a storehouse of repeated patterns overtime and you have to understand that for things to Change,  you must change.


Nothing added,  no new job no new relationship,  not money, not travelling,  Just You! 

You are the one who needs Change. And You can only Change by what you do everyday.

I’d give you a Test Right now and If you can commit to it for 30 days you’d find yourself in a whole new Experience of Life that you didn’t even know was possible. But first,  you must get rid of the idea of happiness from accomplishments, and let go of everything that has not worked up until now. Fuck it all to blazes and see yourself as brand you. Then pick one thing,  one thing you want to commit yourself to for 30 days and begin to do it. But you must do it. If you skip a day,  you have to start over. The Miracle is in being proud of yourself,  doing the work that God has sent you for. So pray,  pray and ask your spirit to guide you to do right thing. Trust the voice in your head,  and whatever it tells you, Go do That for 30 days straight. Discover what you’d learn. All of Life isn’t about what we Earn,  It’s about what We Learn. And if we are able to Learn,  then we can Earn. Pray. Start. Commit. Be consistent. Success and Love to you
___________________________________________________________________________
Was this Post Helpful for You? Please Leave Thoughts, Insights and Ideas in Comments below so others can learn from your experiences as well.

BLUE BALLS – Short Stories | R16

an excerpt from the new novel “How I ended my Monday? ALONE, AGAIN”



“Fuck me.” His voice was calm but determined, his eyes searching lustfully through her in the darkness. 

“How?” she asked,  enjoying the sudden shift of roles the atmosphere had taken on. 
Earlier he had been kissing her hungrily,  biting into her exposed flesh,  sucking on her young firm breasts and groaning like a wild animal. 
Now he just lay there,  intrepid,  unmoving,  asking her to fuck him. 
“Anyhow you like,” he responded. He had one hand on her arm now,  stroking the tiny sightless hairs with a slow moving finger and electrifying her with energy. 
He had a way with her that she had not travelled on before with any of the men who now appeared like a blurry image in her past. 
No one had made her feel like that. 
Touched her like that. 
She somehow shrunk in size when she was with him and she feared that he noticed. 
Moving over to where he lay,  she pushed him so he lost the balance from his elbow and now lay flat chested on the bed. 
The dark room was lit by two little candles which burned slowly in their glass jars atop a table beside the bed. The light from the candles cast a saturated glow on his handsome face which she looked from now to admire his body. Rid of clothes, hard twitching muscles rippling the flesh of his arms,  his buttocks taut. 
She stroked it, then squeezed until he moaned in selfish delight. 
“Fuck me..” he said again,  this time there was a faint plea in his tone and it brought satisfaction to her ears. 
“Say please.” 
“Please,” he pleaded,  “Please fuck me.”
She smiled. A smile only she knew about as he still had his back to her,  his chest on the bed. 
Without hesitation she lumbered over his long outstretched body, so that her body was flat on his now,  breasts to his back, limbs encircling limbs. 
Then she began to rock her pelvis against his buttocks, moving slowly,  then quickly,  then slowly again, like she was moving to a rhythm only she could hear.
His moaning had become a little louder now, as he rocked back against her. 
“Like this?” she leaned in to whisper the question in his ear, brushing her lips dryly on the lobe before taking it in her mouth,  nibbling,  biting, killing him with pleasure.  “You want me to fuck you like this?”
“Yes,  yes.”
He was cowering under her. Moments ago he seemed to her the all male and masculine,  dominating her with his presence. Now he was just a boy,  pleading for the love onl she could give him on this Thursday night which was quickly becoming Friday. 
“Are you really going to leave tomorrow without seeing me?” Was the question he had asked her on the phone only three hours before when she called him to tell of her departure. 
“I don’t know Emeka, I mean it’s late.” She said.
“Late?  That’s not a good enough excuse to keep your sexy self away from me.” He had a way with words that melted the rocks of pain that had wedged themselves in her heart since her breakup from Malik.
What was it now? Seven months?  Seven months apart and she still felt like she was doing something wrong whenever another man came into the frame that now held a too-gloomy picture of her life. 
Why did it feel wrong to be with someone else?  Malik could be anywhere with some other girl for all she knew anyways. Why did it matter what she did with anyone else? 
What has Malik got to do with this? 
“Are you there? Hello?” The smooth,  breezy timbre of his voice was like music to her ears. 
“Yes.”
“You are not saying anything Yeesha,  I want to see you. I mean I’d love to see you if you want to see me,  which I hope you do.”
“Emeka it’s really late,  like it’s almost 10P.M and you know I hate to drive at night.”
“Who says anything about you driving babe,  I’d come pick you up.”
The familiar phrase. ‘I’d come pick you up.’
The last time he had said that,  they’d ended up in his bed,  on the floor,  on his sofa,  sweating,  panting,  eating eachother to lustful exhaustion. 
Now three days later and he was saying it again.
For her it was as though someone somewhere was replaying an old tape and ordering her life to it. 
But this Thursday night had not been like Monday. 
And as she knelt over him now,  his buttocks rocking back and forth against her pelvis and  soaking up her waters as they poured forth from inside her,  she knew.
She knew this was all they had…

to be cont. (Make Sure to Check back on the Blog for updates)

_______________________________


WANT TO READ THE FULL BOOK?
GET 2 BOOKS FOR 1! 

Pre-Order ALONE AGAIN and Receive ‘I WAS SMOKING WEED’ for Free!


What Worries You? A thought on Worrying That would Help You

What worries you?  Why do you look so worried? 
Worry does nothing but feast on the elixir of your life. It chips away a bit at a time and soon you’d find that you have nothing left to worry about but the worry itself. It is a vicious cycle. 
Don’t give in to the illusion that worry presents you.
It does nothing but blind you to the possibilities,  the power around you. 

You cannot see anything good around you now because you have been blinded by your worry. 

 


Think about what it is you are thinking about when you worry and ask yourself if it really is worth worrying over. When you are done worrying do you have a solution?  No. But if you use the same energy you use to worry instead to search for solutions to your problems which are always readily available to you, you might have a solution. Or at least a hunch of a solution. 

A lot of healing is necessary. Healing is what you need. If you think a new this or that would help solve your problems,  you are right.  Only you’d be right for just a short time. You might get something new,  travel someplace,  receive more money, fall in love again,  and for a little while you really might believe you are happier than you were. Until time passes and the mask is pulled off.You would come face to face with the same troubles again,  with the same pain,  with the same wounds. 

It’s like covering blemishes with makeup. Again and again,  more powder,  more concealer. But you’d have to remove it all and Face your true self in the mirror. 
If you cannot accept what you see of yourself,  you’d be needing more and more to cover up. 
More money. 
A new relationship. 
A new car. 
A new job. 
But still, The main problems persist. The wounds are still breathing,  needing healing. 


Purge yourself of everything. When you have nothing,  it becomes easy to have everything. 
Remove what’s eating up the space of your heart. Face the truth of who you are. Go within and ask yourself honestly how to heal yourself. 
You’d find that the answers would come to you,  but you must be in tune to receive them.
 
When Life wants your attention,  it would stop at nothing until it gets it. Accidents,  sicknesses,  depression,  broken relationships,  loss of money,  financial hardships,  some of these are really only attention triggers to point you to a vital truth. 
We get distracted. 
We lose our way. 
To come home we may have to be jolted back to our senses. Some of us are really hard headed. We need the toughest kind of wake up calls. We may have to hit rock bottom sometimes,  as this is the best place for to make things anew. 
When all your chips are down and got have lost everything,  where do you go?  What do you do? 
God wants to talk to you. But it is so noisy where you have been, he needs you down here in your distress and pain. Here where there is no one left to turn to but God. 
 
So why Worry? Everything that is Happening now is simply bringing you back home, to yourself, to your truth, to God.

Why Time, Timing and Setting Timelines is Important – Simple Time Management Hack

We live in a time bound universe.  The crux of life itself is not bound by time. 
Consciousness knows no time. It is not bound by attributes and characteristics. 
But we are,  because we live in this time space reality. 

Your life is measured not just by how long you live but also how well you lived. And this cannot be said simply without saying what you did in the time you lived.


If you could begin to time everything,  how long you surf the internet per day,  how long it takes you to shower, how many hours per day you spend doing chores,  how many hours you spend reading,  how many hours you spend working actively,  you might begin to get a grasp on where your time is going and how you can better invest your time. 
If there is something you really want to achieve in your life, the best way to know if and how you are making progress is by checking in to see how much time you are spending on it every single day. 
In my life for instance,  I have made Exercise,  Writing and Music priority. I have decided that I would not end any day without giving 2 hours to writing,  2 hours in the gym and 3 hours actively creating music. This I am working on and with time I would see how well I am doing. So far I know I have been giving time to Writing and my Music but not so much to exercise and I am working on it.


Think about it,  asides the 8 hours you might spend sleeping,  you still get 18 hours!  That’s a lot of time to dedicate to other things,  Work,  Family,  Spirituality, Service, Recreation,  Hobbies or even learning something new. 
Would you like to take an inventory of how much of your time is speng swiping away online and on social media,  watching TV,  reading careless blogs, chatting in idle conversation, albeit on things and activities that do nothing for your overall growth and well-being. 
Imagine how much more intentional and deliberate your life would be,  if you mapped out exactly where your time would go through the day,  through the week and you actually commit to investing an allotted amount of time to activities and tasks that would improve your life and skill set. 

Decide that you are going to become intentional about your life. “This is what is deserving of my time,  my life, and this is how much time I am going to give to it everyday. “
Can you try this for a month?  See how your life changes. 
Write it out clearly,  what area of your life you want improvement in and how much time each day you’d give for it. 

Time is the currency you spend when you want Change. Do you really want to see changes?  How much time do you have to spend each day in the areas you seek change in? 

This is a simple Time Management hack that tI hope would work for you. Do share your thoughts in comments!

Make the commitment, Get to work.

Break Ups, Moving on from a Relationship and Tips To Get Back to You

I miss my ex. We broke up not too long ago and so it’s understandable that I’d miss him.
Does he miss me?  I don’t know.  He hasn’t sent a message or called me or anything to indicate that he thinks about me like I think about him.
But I do think about him. Several things bring him to mind,  music,  activities, places,  smells,  food,  anything. This of course is normal for anyone moving on from a relationship they were deeply invested in, so I’d be going against my humanness if I were to deny how I feel.

I don’t want to deny it.
I don’t want to hide.
Accepting it, Knowing it, feeling what I feel and letting the energy flow through me is the first step I have found to healing and letting go.

Sometimes, Breakups are inevitable and are necessary so Life can align us with the path that’s right for us. All of life is a learning process, you never really get it completely and sometimes we must go through several bad turns and maneuver the wrong streets to get to the path that’s right for us.
With my recent breakup, I have learned so much. I understand and I have been practicing distance. Which means that I have kept a low profile and resisted the urge to text or call him for a while now. (The Last time I did, it was bad, I learned my lesson hard and I’d share that with you in another post.)
Apparently I am going to have to keep doing this, keeping the distance, until I can finally say I have gotten over him.

I love relationships,  I really do. I love the bonding,  the sharing,  the growing together,  the knowing yourself through someone else,  the kisses,  the friendships,  I really love relationships. But I also love being single. 

Breakups do a lot of good for us if we are willing to see the bright side of it. 
For one,  you are afforded the opportunity to get together with yourself again and align with the lessons a breakup serves to teach you.
If you are open to growth,  you mostly certainly would be able to identify areas of your life needing attention that are suddenly illumined by a breakup. Often times in the beginning we do not see it, but as time passes, we come to appreciate the new space that we have and the opportunity for growth that it presents. 

Here are a few things that could help you if you are going through a Breakup and you have accepted to Move on:

1. Don’t think that jumping in with someone new would help alleviate the pain or help forget your ex. This is often a mistake and we unfortunately end up where we started and most times break up with this new person.
Another relationship isn’t going to help you get over the past relationship. That’s not its job and if that is what you are expecting of it then you are not being fair to this new person.
What would happen is you’d be projecting your insecurities and emotional trauma from the past on this new person and overwhelm them with negativity that they have not bargained for.

 SEE ALSO:  This Simple Life Tip can Change your Whole Life! Simple Life Hacks for Achieving Goals

2. Work to Enjoy your new space and time with yourself. This is hard to do at first especially when you are constantly reminded of your ex. But if you focus all of your energies on working to improve yourself then you would be too busy to think. The plan is to be so busy becoming a better you that you do not even have enough time to think of or miss the past.
The work for you right now is to become the person you’d like to date in the future. What characteristics and disciplines would you like for this person to possess. You must know. You have to know what kind of person you want to be with else you’d end up with anyone. The truth is you are simply looking for you in someone else or through someone else.

So it’s a win win for you to become the You that you seek to love and love you so much that when this new person comes in your life,  they come to dance in that love that you have already created and that they already have because you can only attract what you are at all times. 

3. Give your ex breathing space. Yes you are in pain and hurting,  but calling them up all the time to talk about it is certainly the kind of move that pushes them farther off. You don’t want to give them more affirmation that they made the right move by breaking up with you.
If you have been apart for a long time without any communication, I guess it’s okay for you to send a text to check in. But don’t send messages expressing how you miss them so badly and want them back.
If you send a text and they reply,  fine. If they don’t, fine. In another post I’d share with You how this move might potentially be a bad move.

So if you have made the decision to move on and you know it in your heart that Your Breakup is a good thing, then don’t send messages.
When you understand that Life is constantly working for you,  you’d come to appreciate the ups and downs of life.  There has to be a balance.
You might find yourself with someone better in a short time,  if you focus on doing the work to grow you. And when that happens you’d be certainly grateful for this breakup. 
SEE ALSO :  Can’t Focus on Your Goals? What I do when I cannot Focus

4. Contain your emotional and mental energies. Energy is what life is made up of. Everything is energy. If you are constantly thinking of your past,  you are letting yourself hang on there energetically. Life is pulling you forward,  always,  toward something better if you believe it.
Also when you give your thought power to your ex by thinking about them,  you are fueling them energetically. This mental energy can be used for many other things in your life right now. Don’t spend so much time reminiscing on what could have been. Be powerful enough to let the past go and begin to prepare for the wonderful future that awaits you.

5. Give yourself time.  It is commendable to take advantage of time. Don’t be in such a hurry for a new relationship. Being lonely sucks,  yes I know this,  but in loneliness is where a lot of magic happens. You can hear your inner self more,  you can be opened up to insights that you may not have been allowing in before, you are able to get to know you better. Allow yourself the pleasure of spending time alone. If a new relationship seems to be budding with someone else,  stall it. Discipline your emotional need for someone else. Give yourself a time frame to work with. It would help you have clarity and afford you enough time to work through the lessons from the past relationship.

SEE ALSO:  If You are Doing this, You are Killing Yourself | Self Perception

6. Cleanse your energy. Whatever you must do to rid yourself of old energetic patterns from past relationships,  do that.  Exercise,  fast,  eat healthy, do a water cleanse,  do a prayer cleanse,  meditate,  be celibate, decide what it is going to be for you and cleanse the toxic energy of the past.
I am currently working on my Health and fitness,  writing  some more and staying celibate. I Would update you and let you know how this has been working in a few months.   

I hope this has helped and if you would be kind to share your thoughts in comments, it most certainly would be a pleasure to chat back with you.
Thank you for Reading and I wishing you healthier more fulfilling relationships ahead.

How to Get INSPIRATION – For Writers and Creators

9:10AM :
I begin.  Not knowing how it is going to go but I begin anyways.  Like I have done now,  writing,  just writing, knowing she would speak to me when I am already in the flow,  writing,  just writing. I am not waiting for inspiration to strike me with an idea, I know that the thing I must speak now would come to me as I write.  On average I have to keep on writing for at least 11 minutes, at that point my head usually would have let go off the blocks and chatter and mind would be more receptive of the information that is most important for me to write. 
This way I do not worry for what to write,  I know it is there and my only job is to keep on scribbling away till I get to it.
I call this mind-dumping. 
It is a process by which you get rid of unnecessary ideas and blockages and free your mind of clutter. 
This is what I am doing now. 
I want to write a book.  I have not thought about what the book is about and I am probably not going to until I write the first line. I know want to write both fiction and non fiction titles so the only decision I have made so far is to write another fiction.
So I know that I am writing fiction for the next couple of months. 
I do have an idea of what my non fiction title would be about and I already know I am going to be doing a lot of research and reading for it. 
I have decided that while I do that,  I would be writing my next fiction title. 
I intend to write everyday for two hours. 30minutes of blogging and 1hr30 minutes of writing in my new novel. 
I am quite positive that I can keep this up and I’d like to be back in a month’s time to share stories of my success. 
I understand that I am a creature of habit. And I can program myself to actively engage in a task seemingly on autopilot if I can hardwire it in my brain by doing it everyday and make it a habit. 

Good Habits are just as difficult to create as bad habits are difficult to break. 

Understanding that doing something over and over again in the same way is how to build a habit,  the only thing to do is to set a schedule for when this activity would be carried out. 

SEE ALSO:  Can’t Focus on Your Goals? What I do when I cannot Focus


For instance, Writing for me must happen everyday at 9AM. 
Hence everything else has to come after that. The time at 9AM is my cue to write and I must sit to write or write wherever I find myself at 9AM. 
I am also currently building a habit of working out every single day. 
I know I must begin my workout at 6AM every morning and this in turn means that I must wake up at least at 5AM. 
To wake up at 5AM means I must be fast asleep by 11PM the night before which in turn means I hit the sack at 10:30PM.
If I fail to go to bed at the set time I ultimately fail to hit the gym at the set time. 
And because building my body is now a major goal and priority for me,  I have no excuses. 
I have to workout. 
I have come to understand that to set our minds to do something is not enough. Stating what time it gets done a d sticking to the schedule is what counts. 
Timelines are so very important. 

SEE ALSO : If You are Doing this, You are Killing Yourself | Self Perception

When we set goals without saying when we hope to achieve them and setting proper timelines along with the goals,  we create room for failure and keep ourselves open to whatever. 

You cannot afford to say things like “Oh I’d just do it tomorrow” – this is how procrastination begins to breed and ultimately we fail. 9:31AM
I am writing now,  about something important,  I have an idea what I am talking about now and I have been flowing with it.
But when I began to write at 9:13 I had no clue. 
This is what I am trying to tell you.  The inspiration happens in the flow.


9:32AM  (Got on the Idea after 18+ minutes of writing free flowing)

We live in a time bound universe.  The crux of life itself is not bound by time. 
Consciousness knows no time. It is not bound by attributes and characteristics. 
But we are,  because we live in this time space reality. 
Your life is measured not just by how long you live but also how well you lived. And this cannot be said simply without saying what you did in the time you lived.

If you could begin to time everything,  how long you surf the internet per day,  how long it takes you to shower, how many hours per day you spend doing chores,  how many hours you spend reading,  how many hours you spend working actively,  you might begin to get a grasp on where your time is going and how you can better invest your time. 
If there is something you really want to achieve in your life, the best way to know if and how you are making progress is by checking in to see how much time you are spending on it every single day. 
In my life for instance,  I have made Exercise,  Writing and Music priority. I have decided that I would not end any day without giving 2 hours to writing,  2 hours in the gym and 3 hours actively creating music. 

Think about it,  asides the 8 hours you might spend sleeping,  you still get 18 hours!  That’s a lot of time to dedicate to other things,  Work,  Family,  Spirituality, Service, Recreation,  Hobbies or even learning something new. 
Would you like to take an inventory of how much of your time is speng swiping away online and on social media,  watching TV,  reading careless blogs, chatting in idle conversation, albeit on things and activities that do nothing for your overall growth and well-being. 
Imagine how much more intentional and deliberate your life would be,  if you mapped out exactly where your time would go through the day,  through the week and you actually commit to investing an allotted amount of time to activities and tasks that would improve your life and skill set. 

Decide that you are going to become intentional about your life. “This is what is deserving of my time,  my life, and this is how much time I am going to give to it everyday. “
Can you try this for a month?  See how your life changes. 
Write it out clearly,  what area of your life you want improvement in and how much time each day you’d give for it. 

Time is the currency you spend when you want Change. Do you really want to see changes?  How much time do you have to spend each day in the areas you seek change in? 

Make the commitment, Get to work.

HOW TO START or RE-START YOUR DAY POWERFULLY for Success!

Today I woke up head first from a dream I had been really deep in, something random about dogs. You know I have a thing for dogs so that’s certainly no surprise. However, I felt drudgey. I got up lazily from the bed, said a quick prayer to fulfill all righteousness and proceeded to start my day.
Only, I had already made the first mistake the night before, which was going to bed without planning the next day. So as you can tell, my mind this morning was in all the wrong places and no place at all.
I had no clue where to begin.
Then I remembered I had some laundry to take care of and began to sift through the pile of clothes in the basket. Holy molly sikes! Imagine starting your day with laundry!!! Not productive, not productive at all. So I said ‘fuck this’ and walked back into my room.
Naturally I picked up my phone for a quick fix of Social Dopamine, and THIS WAS ULTIMATELY WHERE I BEGAN TO HAVE A FAILED DAY!

You may have read this several times, or even heard people say it,
“DO NOT START YOUR DAY GOING INTO YOUR PHONE AT LEAST FOR THE FIRST HOUR”.
It just seems like this habit that has woven itself in over time and no matter how hard you try one day you slip up and find yourself reaching for the phone at the start of your day. That’s a straight road to a failed start.

So of course I got myself into the loop as I picked up the phone, responding to mails, responding to texts, scrolling through my Instagram, responding to DMS, ultimately losing time on things that did not matter in the grand scheme of my being.

And as if to confirm my early morning failure, I did the one thing I always do each day which is listen to a powerful speech or insightful interviews, and this one on Youtube with Jim Kwik was all I needed  to go start my day again.
Jim Kwik reaffirmed the notion that we are selling ourselves short by reaching for the phone first thing in the day as this ultimately zaps our power and keeps us in a constant reactionary loop.


That hit me hard!
I mean I already knew I was doing the wrong thing by burrowing in  my phone.
So how should you start your day for Success?
Well here’s what I did right after watching that interview, In fact I didn’t even need to finish the whole clip. I paused the video and went straight back to bed. The plan? Wake up a second time today!
Sounds silly I know but mentally, I was saying to myself, “I have to restart my day.”

So I lay in bed, flat back, smiled as though I had just woken up, and said a thank you prayer.
Then I got up and said a more meaningful prayer than I had done earlier when I woke the first time.

Then I reached for the Paper on which I had written my most important goals and read over them quickly, visualizing each one.
Next I induced myself in a deep, relaxing Meditation.
I must tell you, my meditation today was on a different level! I do believe this was partly cause I consciously Intended to Meditate. I felt a surge of positive energy flow through me from head to toe. With each inhaled breath I imagined the words “I am now taking in powerful positive energy” and with each exhaled breath “I am now releasing all negative energy“.
And slowly I fell in a deep meditative state.

Then I visualized the steps I needed to take for the day in achieving my most important short term and mid term goals, and the things I needed to achieve at the end of the day.

One of those things is writing in my blog daily which is what you are reading now. I can tell you sincerely, as I write this, I feel very powerful, very energized, knowing I am living in line with my purpose and my vision, doing exactly what I said I would do.

When I am done with this post, I know exactly what to do next, and that drudgey, tired, helpless feeling that I felt the first time I woke up today is gone.
I feel refreshed, renewed. Ready!

And when I hit PUBLISH on this post, it would be a great start to my day indeed!
This is of course is a much better high than the social satisfaction the phone would have afforded me because with this, I have written something meaningly which hopefully has helped you as that is always the intention when I write, and I have also scored the day as one of my goals is writing daily in this blog.

SO WHAT DO I DO TO ENSURE A POWERFUL START TO MY DAY?
1. Pray, Meditate, Listen / Read words of Wisdom
2. Visualize and Meditate on my Goals, Ideas, Plans
3. Drink a Glass of Water.
4. Write for 45 mins
5. Do a 20 Minute Workout (This one i am fighting through and I’d keep you updated on how I am getting back to my fit lifestyle)

Thank you for reading and i hope this has helped you. Please leave comments below and share with us what your morning routine for success is like? How do you start your day? What is the one thing you ultimately have to do everyday for success?

A New Way of Life: PUT GOD FIRST

This is going to be a very sincere post, as with all of my posts, but probably my most earnest.
I want you to read this with an open mind that is ready to take in new helpful information and I hope when you are done reading you can come to actionable conclusions that can help you immediately as you begin to apply them.
Now straight to the story.
For the longest time, I have written To Do lists and Goals and Resolutions and plans, again and again. Sometimes this happens in the spur of the moment, sometimes it happens because it is the 1st day of a new month and I am feeling all brand new and refreshed like most people. (Hey, I know you are guilty of this)
But just recently, I began yet another fresh walk with God and I called myself out on a bunch of things I had done that my Spirit didn’t align with. One of them of course was my constant starts and stops of projects that I single handedly jumped into and did not commit to God.
I realized without a doubt that most of these projects never saw the light of day and the ones that did were filled with stress and were not successful as envisioned.
I knew where I had gone wrong. 
I was consistently setting Goals without bringing the God presence in from the start.
I felt a deep conviction in my spirit and I saw how I had been trying to do it on my own, depending on my own strength in the past.
I decided I wasn’t going to start anything without starting with God. And so I picked up a new project, began to map out the plans and ideas I had on a single sheet of paper and every morning for the Past 3 Days I have woken up, picked up that paper and prayed to God about my plans and Ideas.
Today, just three days in, I have a major Breakthrough!
This is the major part of my project that makes everything else work and it was provide seemingly out of chance on a platter.
But I know better, there are no coincidences in God’s work. I knew it was God Moving in my favor.
And I tell you with joy, when God moves in for you, things you want are literally dropped in your laps, prepared and ready for you.
I am so excited!
I’m so sorry I cannot share all of the information in detail as this is something that is still in the works but if you follow my posts closely I promise to link back to this post with an update when we have successfully brought this project to completion.
This is what I have learned through this process and I’d lay it out for you in 5 simple points:
  1. Put God First: Start with God. Start Your Day with God, Start your family with God, Start your project with God. It doesn’t matter what you are getting yourself into, Start everything with God.
  2. Meditate on it and Pray about it daily: this is a very important one as it keeps you in the place of continuity, of achieving, it fires up your faith in the project or plan and it gives you hope for success. This also includes all your forms of visualization of the Success you expect.
  3. Expect to receive signs and revelations of the manifestation of your success: Keep alert and watch out for when things are unfolding. Don’t expect that things would happen exactly as you want however as a lot of Times the results we want come disguised as work and if you do not keep your Heart open, you may miss the miracle standing right in front of you.
  4. Continually Give Thanks for the Success that is to come even before it comes. This helps strengthen your faith and the stronger your faith is the better you can feel and the more positive your vibration would be towards attracting that which you desire.
  5. Start where you are with what you have: Make all the moves you can make. Ensure that you exhaust all of your moves. There is always something you can do to kickstart the process. A phone call? A text? A lot of us Sabotage our success because we want to start big! We complain about not having capital even before we have made calls or visited with prospects. Don’t sit and fold your hands doing nothing under the excuse of not having the big stuff. God moves when you work the small stuff.
I look forward to posting an update in the coming weeks and sharing with you all of the details I have been unable to share now but so far, I hope this has sparked something for you and hopefully you are spurred to action in an area of your life that you have been wanting to take on.

How To Succeed in Life: FOCUS on What ‘IS’, not What ‘ISN’T’

Last night I stayed up watching Steven Furtick Sermons on Youtube. In one particular sermon titled “Fix Your Focus”
He spoke about Focus, especially as it relates to Intimate Relationships, as well as everything else beyond relationships.
And you may have already heard this before “What You Focus on You magnify, or What You Focus on Grows.” – but hearing these words again was brand new for me.
I saw it and understood it in a really beautiful new light.
It doesn’t matter what you focus on, it would grow!
Isn’t that wonderful to know?
Your Focus and attention do not care what you are focusing on, it only knows to magnify that. Because you are giving your life energy to what holds your attention, it receives life from you and expands.
This leads me to my point today: We have become accustomed to the habitual patterns of fixating our thoughts and our minds on what isn’t.
‘I don’t have Money’
‘I don’t have my rent ready’
‘I don’t have a Boyfriend’
‘There is no…
‘I can’t do….
We become completely blinded by our focus on what isn’t that we fail to see what is. And going by the simple truth that what we Focus on We magnify, imagine why we keep on seeing and observing more of what we do not want in our lives.
If I know nothing about Iife by now, I know this: No matter where you are in Life, you always have something that is worthy of gratitude.
The problem is we have spent so long focusing on what we don’t have that we fail to see what we do have.
We focus so much on who we aren’t in comparison to others that we fail to see the magnificence that we are.
We focus so much on what is not working in our lives that we fail to see what is working and ultimately fail to give it more attention so it can work some more.

The more you think and focus on what isn’t, the more you observe more of what isn’t . But when you begin to observe the positive of What Is, then more of that positivity would become available to you.
Take this quote from the Bible “To him who has, more would be given, to him who has not, even that which he has would be taken away..”
Please permit me to shed light on this verse in a brand new way for you.
“To him who focuses on what he has, more would be given, to him who focuses on what he has not, even that which he has would be taken away..”
Does this make new sense to you?
You always Have! There is never a time when you do not have.
We must stop the negative habit of saying we do not have – and begin to see what we do have.
When you focus on not having, you keep on not having.
When you focus on not being happy, you remain unhappy.
When you focus on your failures, you experience more failures.
A simple exercise to do right away to begin a shift in your consciousness is to write down things you have now that you are grateful for, things you have that are working and things about you that make you unique.
Writing, not just thinking it over, is very important as this helps initiate a deeper conversation of positivity in your consciousness.
Read your list over and over several times through the week.
We have spent a long time drilling in a habit of the mind that keeps us stuck in Lack, Failure, Disappointment, so know that to restructure and change this mindset would take a commitment from you towards change.
You cannot just do this once.
It has to become a new way of living for us, to observe and focus only on what is at all times, and give no attention to what isn’t.
Okay now, it’s time to write. Please do not just read this post and skip the exercise. Action is the prerequisite of Change. If you are serious about making some changes in your life and your focus, it is important that you begin to take the small steps towards making a shift in your focus.
So please do this for you, make a list on paper of the things you have that you are grateful for. Aim to reach at least 10. When I did this I was able to write 15 things. Of course there is more if we keep searching for it. Just write as many as you can and watch how the things you have begin to magnify!