Can I do it?

Wow! It has been exactly 27 days since the last time I made a Post here. 1 Month!
This is crazy.
For someone like me who always has something to say and always has all of these thoughts just firing like light bolts, it is crazy that i haven’t written anything publicly on this blog.

I have been writing in my journals and notepads, tid bits here and there, but not in my blog. To be fair, I have been creating a lot of content on my Youtube through the past couple of weeks and while I have been having fun with that, I miss my writing. 

As a self proclaimed Instagram addict, I have tried to blog on Instagram, but if you use Instagram a lot, then I am sure you know that most people aren’t necessarily interested in reading on Instagram, they just want to swipe through the photos and videos. It is really the place for the shortest attention span ever. So no, Instagram does not work for me for blogging.

And still, I have these thoughts that should be kept someplace. And I honestly want to. I want to Write, more and more and more. It is a great way to connect with myself, and even better to connect with you.
I am writing this post now cause I just watched a Seth Godin interview where he speaks about blogging and asks “Why aren’t you blogging your thoughts?” This hit me straight in the head and I said to myself, “Blog, Now!” So here I am. Writing.

I want to blog more and more every week. If you follow me on Instagram or are subscribed to my Youtube Channel you know I have been talking about the 200 DAYS OF EVA LIVING LIFE which is the video series on Youtube where I share my life with you for 200 Days! As crazy as that sounds, I have been doing it. Today is Day 7 and thankfully I am not backing down yet.

I am now going to commit myself to Writing even more. So in the course of these 200 Days, while I am making all of these videos I will also be writing my thoughts here on my blog.
NEW BLOG POSTS every Monday – Wednesday – Friday and Saturday.
The reason that this is so important for me is because WRITING is really my thing and I do not want to lose the momentum simply because I am now creating Video content daily.
Honestly, I do feel like I do too much sometimes, but if it is a good thing to do, and if my doing helps you,  then I sure as hell am willing to dive in.

Can I do it? Let’s wait and see. Wish me luck!

Break Ups, Moving on from a Relationship and Tips To Get Back to You

I miss my ex. We broke up not too long ago and so it’s understandable that I’d miss him.
Does he miss me?  I don’t know.  He hasn’t sent a message or called me or anything to indicate that he thinks about me like I think about him.
But I do think about him. Several things bring him to mind,  music,  activities, places,  smells,  food,  anything. This of course is normal for anyone moving on from a relationship they were deeply invested in, so I’d be going against my humanness if I were to deny how I feel.

I don’t want to deny it.
I don’t want to hide.
Accepting it, Knowing it, feeling what I feel and letting the energy flow through me is the first step I have found to healing and letting go.

Sometimes, Breakups are inevitable and are necessary so Life can align us with the path that’s right for us. All of life is a learning process, you never really get it completely and sometimes we must go through several bad turns and maneuver the wrong streets to get to the path that’s right for us.
With my recent breakup, I have learned so much. I understand and I have been practicing distance. Which means that I have kept a low profile and resisted the urge to text or call him for a while now. (The Last time I did, it was bad, I learned my lesson hard and I’d share that with you in another post.)
Apparently I am going to have to keep doing this, keeping the distance, until I can finally say I have gotten over him.

I love relationships,  I really do. I love the bonding,  the sharing,  the growing together,  the knowing yourself through someone else,  the kisses,  the friendships,  I really love relationships. But I also love being single. 

Breakups do a lot of good for us if we are willing to see the bright side of it. 
For one,  you are afforded the opportunity to get together with yourself again and align with the lessons a breakup serves to teach you.
If you are open to growth,  you mostly certainly would be able to identify areas of your life needing attention that are suddenly illumined by a breakup. Often times in the beginning we do not see it, but as time passes, we come to appreciate the new space that we have and the opportunity for growth that it presents. 

Here are a few things that could help you if you are going through a Breakup and you have accepted to Move on:

1. Don’t think that jumping in with someone new would help alleviate the pain or help forget your ex. This is often a mistake and we unfortunately end up where we started and most times break up with this new person.
Another relationship isn’t going to help you get over the past relationship. That’s not its job and if that is what you are expecting of it then you are not being fair to this new person.
What would happen is you’d be projecting your insecurities and emotional trauma from the past on this new person and overwhelm them with negativity that they have not bargained for.

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2. Work to Enjoy your new space and time with yourself. This is hard to do at first especially when you are constantly reminded of your ex. But if you focus all of your energies on working to improve yourself then you would be too busy to think. The plan is to be so busy becoming a better you that you do not even have enough time to think of or miss the past.
The work for you right now is to become the person you’d like to date in the future. What characteristics and disciplines would you like for this person to possess. You must know. You have to know what kind of person you want to be with else you’d end up with anyone. The truth is you are simply looking for you in someone else or through someone else.

So it’s a win win for you to become the You that you seek to love and love you so much that when this new person comes in your life,  they come to dance in that love that you have already created and that they already have because you can only attract what you are at all times. 

3. Give your ex breathing space. Yes you are in pain and hurting,  but calling them up all the time to talk about it is certainly the kind of move that pushes them farther off. You don’t want to give them more affirmation that they made the right move by breaking up with you.
If you have been apart for a long time without any communication, I guess it’s okay for you to send a text to check in. But don’t send messages expressing how you miss them so badly and want them back.
If you send a text and they reply,  fine. If they don’t, fine. In another post I’d share with You how this move might potentially be a bad move.

So if you have made the decision to move on and you know it in your heart that Your Breakup is a good thing, then don’t send messages.
When you understand that Life is constantly working for you,  you’d come to appreciate the ups and downs of life.  There has to be a balance.
You might find yourself with someone better in a short time,  if you focus on doing the work to grow you. And when that happens you’d be certainly grateful for this breakup. 
SEE ALSO :  Can’t Focus on Your Goals? What I do when I cannot Focus

4. Contain your emotional and mental energies. Energy is what life is made up of. Everything is energy. If you are constantly thinking of your past,  you are letting yourself hang on there energetically. Life is pulling you forward,  always,  toward something better if you believe it.
Also when you give your thought power to your ex by thinking about them,  you are fueling them energetically. This mental energy can be used for many other things in your life right now. Don’t spend so much time reminiscing on what could have been. Be powerful enough to let the past go and begin to prepare for the wonderful future that awaits you.

5. Give yourself time.  It is commendable to take advantage of time. Don’t be in such a hurry for a new relationship. Being lonely sucks,  yes I know this,  but in loneliness is where a lot of magic happens. You can hear your inner self more,  you can be opened up to insights that you may not have been allowing in before, you are able to get to know you better. Allow yourself the pleasure of spending time alone. If a new relationship seems to be budding with someone else,  stall it. Discipline your emotional need for someone else. Give yourself a time frame to work with. It would help you have clarity and afford you enough time to work through the lessons from the past relationship.

SEE ALSO:  If You are Doing this, You are Killing Yourself | Self Perception

6. Cleanse your energy. Whatever you must do to rid yourself of old energetic patterns from past relationships,  do that.  Exercise,  fast,  eat healthy, do a water cleanse,  do a prayer cleanse,  meditate,  be celibate, decide what it is going to be for you and cleanse the toxic energy of the past.
I am currently working on my Health and fitness,  writing  some more and staying celibate. I Would update you and let you know how this has been working in a few months.   

I hope this has helped and if you would be kind to share your thoughts in comments, it most certainly would be a pleasure to chat back with you.
Thank you for Reading and I wishing you healthier more fulfilling relationships ahead.

How to Get INSPIRATION – For Writers and Creators

9:10AM :
I begin.  Not knowing how it is going to go but I begin anyways.  Like I have done now,  writing,  just writing, knowing she would speak to me when I am already in the flow,  writing,  just writing. I am not waiting for inspiration to strike me with an idea, I know that the thing I must speak now would come to me as I write.  On average I have to keep on writing for at least 11 minutes, at that point my head usually would have let go off the blocks and chatter and mind would be more receptive of the information that is most important for me to write. 
This way I do not worry for what to write,  I know it is there and my only job is to keep on scribbling away till I get to it.
I call this mind-dumping. 
It is a process by which you get rid of unnecessary ideas and blockages and free your mind of clutter. 
This is what I am doing now. 
I want to write a book.  I have not thought about what the book is about and I am probably not going to until I write the first line. I know want to write both fiction and non fiction titles so the only decision I have made so far is to write another fiction.
So I know that I am writing fiction for the next couple of months. 
I do have an idea of what my non fiction title would be about and I already know I am going to be doing a lot of research and reading for it. 
I have decided that while I do that,  I would be writing my next fiction title. 
I intend to write everyday for two hours. 30minutes of blogging and 1hr30 minutes of writing in my new novel. 
I am quite positive that I can keep this up and I’d like to be back in a month’s time to share stories of my success. 
I understand that I am a creature of habit. And I can program myself to actively engage in a task seemingly on autopilot if I can hardwire it in my brain by doing it everyday and make it a habit. 

Good Habits are just as difficult to create as bad habits are difficult to break. 

Understanding that doing something over and over again in the same way is how to build a habit,  the only thing to do is to set a schedule for when this activity would be carried out. 

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For instance, Writing for me must happen everyday at 9AM. 
Hence everything else has to come after that. The time at 9AM is my cue to write and I must sit to write or write wherever I find myself at 9AM. 
I am also currently building a habit of working out every single day. 
I know I must begin my workout at 6AM every morning and this in turn means that I must wake up at least at 5AM. 
To wake up at 5AM means I must be fast asleep by 11PM the night before which in turn means I hit the sack at 10:30PM.
If I fail to go to bed at the set time I ultimately fail to hit the gym at the set time. 
And because building my body is now a major goal and priority for me,  I have no excuses. 
I have to workout. 
I have come to understand that to set our minds to do something is not enough. Stating what time it gets done a d sticking to the schedule is what counts. 
Timelines are so very important. 

SEE ALSO : If You are Doing this, You are Killing Yourself | Self Perception

When we set goals without saying when we hope to achieve them and setting proper timelines along with the goals,  we create room for failure and keep ourselves open to whatever. 

You cannot afford to say things like “Oh I’d just do it tomorrow” – this is how procrastination begins to breed and ultimately we fail. 9:31AM
I am writing now,  about something important,  I have an idea what I am talking about now and I have been flowing with it.
But when I began to write at 9:13 I had no clue. 
This is what I am trying to tell you.  The inspiration happens in the flow.

9:32AM  (Got on the Idea after 18+ minutes of writing free flowing)

We live in a time bound universe.  The crux of life itself is not bound by time. 
Consciousness knows no time. It is not bound by attributes and characteristics. 
But we are,  because we live in this time space reality. 
Your life is measured not just by how long you live but also how well you lived. And this cannot be said simply without saying what you did in the time you lived.

If you could begin to time everything,  how long you surf the internet per day,  how long it takes you to shower, how many hours per day you spend doing chores,  how many hours you spend reading,  how many hours you spend working actively,  you might begin to get a grasp on where your time is going and how you can better invest your time. 
If there is something you really want to achieve in your life, the best way to know if and how you are making progress is by checking in to see how much time you are spending on it every single day. 
In my life for instance,  I have made Exercise,  Writing and Music priority. I have decided that I would not end any day without giving 2 hours to writing,  2 hours in the gym and 3 hours actively creating music. 

Think about it,  asides the 8 hours you might spend sleeping,  you still get 18 hours!  That’s a lot of time to dedicate to other things,  Work,  Family,  Spirituality, Service, Recreation,  Hobbies or even learning something new. 
Would you like to take an inventory of how much of your time is speng swiping away online and on social media,  watching TV,  reading careless blogs, chatting in idle conversation, albeit on things and activities that do nothing for your overall growth and well-being. 
Imagine how much more intentional and deliberate your life would be,  if you mapped out exactly where your time would go through the day,  through the week and you actually commit to investing an allotted amount of time to activities and tasks that would improve your life and skill set. 

Decide that you are going to become intentional about your life. “This is what is deserving of my time,  my life, and this is how much time I am going to give to it everyday. “
Can you try this for a month?  See how your life changes. 
Write it out clearly,  what area of your life you want improvement in and how much time each day you’d give for it. 

Time is the currency you spend when you want Change. Do you really want to see changes?  How much time do you have to spend each day in the areas you seek change in? 

Make the commitment, Get to work.

How To Succeed in Life: FOCUS on What ‘IS’, not What ‘ISN’T’

Last night I stayed up watching Steven Furtick Sermons on Youtube. In one particular sermon titled “Fix Your Focus”
He spoke about Focus, especially as it relates to Intimate Relationships, as well as everything else beyond relationships.
And you may have already heard this before “What You Focus on You magnify, or What You Focus on Grows.” – but hearing these words again was brand new for me.
I saw it and understood it in a really beautiful new light.
It doesn’t matter what you focus on, it would grow!
Isn’t that wonderful to know?
Your Focus and attention do not care what you are focusing on, it only knows to magnify that. Because you are giving your life energy to what holds your attention, it receives life from you and expands.
This leads me to my point today: We have become accustomed to the habitual patterns of fixating our thoughts and our minds on what isn’t.
‘I don’t have Money’
‘I don’t have my rent ready’
‘I don’t have a Boyfriend’
‘There is no…
‘I can’t do….
We become completely blinded by our focus on what isn’t that we fail to see what is. And going by the simple truth that what we Focus on We magnify, imagine why we keep on seeing and observing more of what we do not want in our lives.
If I know nothing about Iife by now, I know this: No matter where you are in Life, you always have something that is worthy of gratitude.
The problem is we have spent so long focusing on what we don’t have that we fail to see what we do have.
We focus so much on who we aren’t in comparison to others that we fail to see the magnificence that we are.
We focus so much on what is not working in our lives that we fail to see what is working and ultimately fail to give it more attention so it can work some more.

The more you think and focus on what isn’t, the more you observe more of what isn’t . But when you begin to observe the positive of What Is, then more of that positivity would become available to you.
Take this quote from the Bible “To him who has, more would be given, to him who has not, even that which he has would be taken away..”
Please permit me to shed light on this verse in a brand new way for you.
“To him who focuses on what he has, more would be given, to him who focuses on what he has not, even that which he has would be taken away..”
Does this make new sense to you?
You always Have! There is never a time when you do not have.
We must stop the negative habit of saying we do not have – and begin to see what we do have.
When you focus on not having, you keep on not having.
When you focus on not being happy, you remain unhappy.
When you focus on your failures, you experience more failures.
A simple exercise to do right away to begin a shift in your consciousness is to write down things you have now that you are grateful for, things you have that are working and things about you that make you unique.
Writing, not just thinking it over, is very important as this helps initiate a deeper conversation of positivity in your consciousness.
Read your list over and over several times through the week.
We have spent a long time drilling in a habit of the mind that keeps us stuck in Lack, Failure, Disappointment, so know that to restructure and change this mindset would take a commitment from you towards change.
You cannot just do this once.
It has to become a new way of living for us, to observe and focus only on what is at all times, and give no attention to what isn’t.
Okay now, it’s time to write. Please do not just read this post and skip the exercise. Action is the prerequisite of Change. If you are serious about making some changes in your life and your focus, it is important that you begin to take the small steps towards making a shift in your focus.
So please do this for you, make a list on paper of the things you have that you are grateful for. Aim to reach at least 10. When I did this I was able to write 15 things. Of course there is more if we keep searching for it. Just write as many as you can and watch how the things you have begin to magnify!

How to Get what You Want from Life by being Thankful

You don’t know what you have until it is gone.
This saying has been passed around a lot but we still miss it. It doesn’t only apply to people, in terms of relationships or deaths as a lot of us attribute it to, well I, it applies to every single thing in our lives.
I was lucky enough to experience this first hand twice in a month.
First with all of my puppies coming down with the deadly Parvo Virus, prior to which I had been frustrated by them almost everyday. When I found out my puppies were gravely ill and I could lose them, it felt like I had failed. Like I had failed them. Like I had failed their mother. My whole world came crashing down and for a moment the only thing that mattered was keeping my puppies alive.
I sat up nights in bed, googling and researching my brains out looking for a solution and I didn’t stop until I finally got it.

Yes my pups are all doing fantastic now and I find that I appreciate them even more now than I did prior to their illness.
Now that is the first scenario. The second is the reason I began to write this post in the first place. My Laptop.
For a while I had this HP Laptop that was already beginning to practically beg me for a replacement. It was battered and worn. The top part of the Laptop had come off its hinges and so to use it I always had to prop the laptop against a wall or a pile of books for balance. Pretty much what I really had was a keyboard and a glass for the screen. You couldn’t call this a laptop anymore. I could no longer even use it on my laps.
but I had to keep on using it. It was all I had and at the time I had no money for a replacement and tried desperately not to think of a replacement because the thought alone reminded me that I had no money for the new one I wanted.
and so I was managing the battered laptop, hoping that a miracle would manifest itself in time.
Then one morning, as I readied my desk to sit and begin my work for the day, which included a lot of video editing, blog posts, organizing and all of which had to do with using my laptop, the unexpected happened.
The screen part of the laptop completely lost balance with the wall I’d had it rested against and it came almost loose from the keyboard part. It was literally hanging by a thread. A wire. Just one wire. And then I checked to see a second wire completely come loose on the other end of the screen.
I was immediately devastated.
In an instant, I saw all the wonderful things this so called battered laptop could do for me but could not anymore cause, I believed, it was already never going to come on until I had the other wire attached. I imagined it was a connecting wire to the screen part without which Id be left with only a keyboard. No screen. Hence no way to get my work done.
And that really broke my heart. I thought of going to the repair shop, but I kid you not, at the time, I had no money whatsoever to handle that.
So I decided the only thing to do was to turn on the laptop and try to fix it myself. Whatever it was going to take me, find the right spot for the detached wire and glue it all back together. I contemplated this even though I knew I had no tools to make it work. But I wanted to try.
So I turned on the laptop, devastation and all and would you believe! IT CAME ON!
I could not believe my eyes. I immediately felt a flood of gratitude rush over me.
I found myself thanking the laptop, thanking God, thanking the air, thanking anything. I felt so much gratitude for this battered laptop and the fact that it was still working. I was so happy. I have never been that happy about the laptop before.

But in that moment, just knowing that I could do the work I had yet to do, I was all too thankful.

And that was when it hit me. This is how we should be all the time. We cannot wait for something to almost slip off our fingers before we know and see and appreciate what it does for us. This applies to people, partners, colleagues,friends, family, our houses, our cars, our equipment, our life, water, food, pets, just about everything.

Instead of complaining about what we could have that is better than what we have now, we can choose to nurture what we do already have, knowing that it serves a unique purpose without which we might be incomplete.
Some of us want new cars, forgetting to appreciate all the wonderful places our old cars can still take us.
Some of us want bigger houses, forgetting to appreciate the shelter, and comfort that our present so called small house affords us. Some of us want new jobs, forgetting that there are lots of people without jobs and nothing to do.
We all want something different from what we do have now. But my guess is we cannot get the next best if we do not treat what we have now with care and be truly thankful that we do have.
Look beyond whatever it is, and begin to notice and appreciate what it does for you now.

Yes you live in a small apartment, but isn’t it just great, that you have a roof over your head?
Yes you sleep on the floor and do not have a mattress, but isn’t it just so wonderful that you can get a good night’s sleep and be alive to see today?
Yes you have an annoying boss and your salary is low, but what a blessing to get paid yes?
Yes you do not have a car and have to go by public transport, but aren’t you just so lucky to commute everyday without harm?
Yes you do not have money to do the things you want or live the kind of life you desire, but look!What a Joy to be alive and be able to dream about these wonderful things yet to come.

In all things, be thankful. Look not at what you wish you had, but notice what you do have and be genuinely Thankful. This is the way Life brings you what you want. Make it a conscious, daily practice to be grateful. Gratitude moves all things to you, but your gratitude must be genuine. Go be thankful! There’s lots to be grateful for. You are wonderful and you deserve all of the goodness of Life.

You must Get away from your Comfort zone and Fight for your will #11Minutes

This is not something I wrote and edited before. In fact you are currently reading this as I am typing away at my keyboard. The time now is 12:05PM Thursday October 13th 2016, and I am typing away, writing out what’s in my head in an attempt to fight the writer’s block that has plagued me for the past months. Although now I cannot completely claim that it has been writer’s block all this time, perhaps I was too lazy to get on my PC and just write, or my phone as I sometimes find the android device useful for writing. Or maybe I just spent so many days worrying myself sick over the perfect type of post to put up or the best kind of article. And did I worry about that to the point of writing nothing at all? This is crazy. Maybe I am crazy.

I refuse to let time slip away from my hands and life without doing the things I want to do, I refuse to keep on giving in to excuses that steal the joy of doing the right activities.
Through this time, I have watched myself say things like “Oh I need to read some more so I can create better material.”  or  “Oh I need to do more research on this and that..”  until finally the words begin to sound like “I am not ready.”  “I am not good enough”
How many more of those are we going to tell ourselves until we get the hell up and do something about our not doing something situation? At some point you do know this has to stop. You cannot keep on giving in to all the excuses and not do anything at all about the things a big part of you wants to do.
We must understand that all of the excuses that pop up in our heads are nothing but devices to keep us from exploring that infinitely powerful part of ourselves that so desperately wants have full expression through us. We are nothing but vessels for a higher power to work through, and as I see it now, when I am not letting my higher power work through me successfully, it is because I am allowing the lower powers subdue me and hold me captive. Bound. Unable to express. Useless to the world. Ouch! That is certainly not a good place to be as a human being.
When you fully come to understand who you are, and why you are here, you will no longer allow excuses hold you bound. You would get away from your comfort zone and fight for your will.
The time now is 12:16PM and I have been writing for 11 MINUTES and I am very happy to have expressed myself through writing. What have you been stopping yourself from doing, procrastinating on, pushing aside all this time? Would you be kind tyo yourself to dedicate only 11 Minutes to do it? Please Try.

I hate the Idea Of Marriage

“I hate the idea of Marriage. I don’t think I want to do it,” she toyed with the cigarette in between long perfectly manicured red nails as she spoke. Then as if prompted by the guilt that rested its head on her shoulders each time she smoked, she slammed the butt in the ashtray, killing the flame. She did it in a manner as though she was killing the flame of the love that had once burned in her heart.

“I mean I can’t do it, you know? What’s in it but more troubles for one’s soul?”
“Did he hit you again?” It was the only thing I could find to ask. Maybe in some way, another fight between them would justify her opinions of Marriage.

“Ha! I wish I could call it that. It was two hot slaps on my face. I actually saw his palm print engraved on my foundation.”
She still had a way to etch some humor to her plight. I admired that about her. The waiter came back to ask if we wanted more drinks, to which she promptly waved him off as she would a house fly.
“Folake says I should file for divorce. Which kine nonsense life?”
“Oh! You still speak with Folake?” I said, a silly rhetoric that I couldn’t chew back in my mouth. It was a statement of fact rather than a question. It answered itself.
“Babe if you were in my shoes what would you do?”
I thought for a moment, taking my eyes from the ashtray to her face, briefly scanning her overdrawn eyebrows and stopping myself from judging her poor skills with Makeup.
“I don’t know hunnie. I just really believe marriage is between the couple and God. Everything else is props for the film of life.”
“I don’t get.”
“Here’s what I know. I have never seen my Dad yell at my Mom, they are always talking and chit chatting about one thing or the other and they pray together everyday. They are climbing on to 35 years now and if you ask me, they probably have all of their baggage well hidden under all of the rugs in our house.”
She looked away, her expression distant. There was a mother hen pecking at the sand with her chicks following behind, doing the same. She seemed to be looking at them but I could tell she was looking beyond them.
“I don’t know if I want to get married either,” I said, reaching for her hand, “But if I do, I know I must be grounded deep enough in God, deep enough for my husband and children.”
“Children! Ha, thank God I didn’t get pregnant for this bastard,” she gawked. I felt a piercing in the flesh of my chest, it was as though something was wriggling itself tightly into me, like I was receiving in full portion whatever pain Bola was going through. I held on to her hand and squeezed it.
She looked at me, a thousand questions in her eyes but none finding a way to her mouth.
“I really wish I didn’t get married babes,” she whispered, squeezing back on my hand, a plea in her tone.
When the tear fell, it came down very slowly at first and then suddenly began to rush for her mouth and shirt, bringing with it the clumpy blackness of her mascara.

The Valentine’s Gift

I sat in my little corner of the dorm, hedged between the bunk bed and the wall. I didn’t mean to pry but I just couldn’t help overhearing the conversation that rocked the center of the room. The loudest voice as always, belonged to Aisha, a small girl with a very thin neck that barely supported her rectangular head. A mop of thin lengthy jet black hair sat on her head in three equally shared cornrows. 
“I am half fulani,” she had told us one day in the beginning of the term when someone in the dorm had asked why her hair was so curly. As if that explained anything. 
She stood now in the middle of the room, gesticulating with her hands just as quickly as the words swarm out of her small mouth. 
“It would be a serious problem if Nnena does not declare for Sonia,” she was saying to everyone who had cemented their attention on her. 

It was indeed difficult not to be caught up in whatever Aisha had to say. 
She always had the latest school gist, verified or not and even when she meant to talk to only a few people, she always ended up entertaining any and everyone in range of her snickering fast paced voice.
“I don’t know about any other couple in school right now as important as Nnena and Sonia. That girl in Emoyan house that is goezing with Chinwe, what’s her name again?”
“Uju!” An avid Aisha-supporter chimed in response.
“Yes! Uju! Walaihi I hate that girl fa. She just disgusts me. Kai. The other day in the dinning hall I almost slapped shege out of her face when she stepped on me.” Aisha was beginning to drift as always, but we waited for her to get to the point. We always did. I sat in my spot, a chemistry text book in my lap, pretending to read it while also tuning my ears to Aisha’s frequency.
“Sha sha, Uju told us that she was one of the people who helped Sonia bring her gifts into school. You know Uju and Sonia are family friends.” 
No we didn’t know that, but everyone in the room nodded, a few “Oohhs” and “Aahhs” bounced off the walls in response. 

“She said all the gifts that Sonia bought for Nnena was almost worth one hundred and fifty thousand! Imagine!”
I couldn’t imagine it. Why would anyone spend over N100,000 on Valentine’s gifts? I could not comprehend how an SS2 student could afford such luxury.
“What is inside the gift please?” Someone I couldn’t see asked.
“I don’t know oh! Shey that is why we are waiting bah? What is the time?” Aisha asked, directing the question to no one in particular.
“11:23PM,” a quick reply.
“Ahh! Like thirty-five more minutes to go. Me I must eat cake today sha.” She giggled, as though she had said something important and was proud of herself for saying it.
“I am not really interested in Nnena and Sonia like that jare. The declaration me I want to see this night is Shalewa and Bose.” A girl wearing a blue-checked gown said. Her tone was hoarse as though a piece of boiled yam had taken solace in the lower portion of her throat, prohibiting the rest of her voice from escaping her mouth. I recognized her by her voice. She came to my dorm often to gossip and copy notes from Aisha. Whenever she left, Aisha always had something thoughtless to say about her.
“Which Bose is that? Oh Bose in Makinwa House? That dirty girl that wears one bra for two weeks.” Aisha squeaked. “Na wa oh when did those ones start goezing fa?”
For someone who knew everything, it was definitely a relief that Aisha didn’t know this one thing.
Shalewa and Bose have been goezing since last term, I wanted to say but a force beyond mine held the words in my mouth and stopped them from spilling out. A junior student like myself had no business contributing to the conversations of seemingly jobless Ss3 students.
I briefly took notice of the desk clock that sat on the locker next to my bunk. 11:37PM. Even I was beginning to get excited for what this Valetine’s day held. The preposterousness of it, female students expressing their love and fondness towards other female students and buying outrageously expensive items to be ‘declared’ as soon as the time clocked 12AM. 
I wondered who was going to declare for Aisha. She seemed to know everyone’s business whilst minding hers to the fullest secrecy.
“Are you declaring for anybody?” The voice belonged to Fatima, Aisha’s cousin. She was the only other person asides Aisha who could question Aisha in that knowingly intrusive sort of way.
The reddish hue that instantly colored Aisha’s face seemed to snatch the youthfulness from under her. From where I sat in the far corner of the dorm, I could see an irritated Aisha dart a fiery glare at her cousin.
“I look like I have time for rubbish bah?” 
Everyone laughed.
But of course they knew better. Aisha’d had her moments of quickly fleeting relationships with other girls in the past. The most notable being her latest stint with a stompy wide faced yellow girl in Emoyan house. We believed Aisha was with her only because the girl’s father was an Alhaji and money breezed through their family like winds on an extra cold harmattan day. 
No one knew what happened to their relationship and Aisha was quick to act like it never happened. 
“The best declaration I have seen so far is that one that Chinwe did for that ugly girl in Idran house when we were in SS2.” Amaka said, her voice immediately drowning the laughter. She was a very beautiful girl who I expected knew better than to have a place in Aisha’s gossip group. Of all the girls hurdled together like sardines, Amaka was the only other person whom everyone paid attention to. She talked little but when she did, it was something to be silent for. 
“Aaahhh that was a de-cla-ration!” Aisha joined in and everyone else squealed little renditions in agreement. 

“And I heard that they had only started goezing two weeks before Valentine fa! That Chinwe girl just wanted to show herself.”
“Wasn’t that the GSM Phone declaration?” Fatima asked.
“Yes!  That one oh! Amaka said. “It was my first time seeing a GSM phone. I almost died when they told me the price.”
“How much?”
“One hundred and thirty five thousand Naira!”
“Oh I heard that gist,” Fatima said, as though her head just piped the information to her and she suddenly regained seemingly outdated memory. “The phone itself was one hundred and ten thousand Naira, the sim card was twenty thousand Naira.” She continued.
“Ah that declaration made me want an itchu last year oh I won’t lie.” Amaka said, her tone colored in different hues of her almost raucous Igbo accent.
Laughter trailed her words.
Just then a loud banging echoed through the dorm from the next dorm. Several fists were poundly savagely on the doors as if from every corner, the noise of it reverberated through the hostel, hitting us loudly as we were closest to it.

We heard the noisy slap-thump-slapping of several slippers hitting the cement floor as though a hundred soldiers were running down the corridors. Everyone jumped off their positions and towards the open door to see what was about.
The time was 12:01AM and we had almost missed it.
I flung my text book to the corner of my low bunk bed and threw on a wrapper around my waist, tying it nonchalantly that it almost fell off my waist as I joined the others in a run for the door.
“De-cla-raaaaaaaaaaaaaa..tion!” Several voices shouted into the air all at the same time. It sounded like a really big one. 
“Tion!!” We shouted in response. Yes, even I had joined in. I was excited to see what it was and who it was for. 

Valentine’s day had started in full swing!
There was more banging on the doors of the dorm next to mine, even though it was left ajar.
Girls rushed in from every corner of the hostel to find out who the declaration was for. There was another declaration going on in dorm 17 just across the lawn from where we now stood, but it didn’t sound as loud as this one and hence not as important. So we focused on this one. The big one!
“Who is Onome?” The leader of the declaration finally inquired, clearly not knowing who she was a messenger for.
“Onome!!!” The girls began to shout.

For a moment life became a blur of excited school girls swarming like bees all around me, fists flying determinedly in the air above their cornrows and threaded heads.
“This is not Onome’s room na, she is in the next room.” A girl with a large gap in the center of her teeth said to the group.
I turned around quickly and ran head first for my bunk suddenly petrified. Declaration for me? Who sent me Valentine’s gifts? 
In an instant the group was headed straight for my corner of the room, jeering and shouting and running through the three foot wide door all at the same time. 
“Tion!!!!” The group piped. 
I was suddenly the center of attention. Everyone was in my room, climbing bunk beds, crawling on the walls, all in an effort to get a view of what now appeared to be the best presentation of gifts in a bag that I ever saw in my life.

“De-cla-raaaaaa-tion!! They were shouting and banging on every bunk around mine now.
“You??” Aisha was wide-eyed with what looked like jealousy laced surprise. I couldn’t tell if she was happy for me or if she wanted to slap me across the face with the gifts. “You have an itchu??”
I wanted to say no, that I didn’t know who it was from and just like her I couldn’t wait to tear open the card that accompanied the huge bag of several gifts just so I could tell who sent it. But I couldn’t open my mouth. Or I could, as my mouth was open anyways but the words just would not flow. 
I stood, gaping, my back to the wall as I stared down at my bed which was just two minutes ago empty with nothing but my purple checked sheets, two stuffed animals that I hated, and my Chemistry textbook. 

Now it was laden with Valentine gifts.
“Who declared?” It was Amaka’s Igbo accented voice.
“We don’t know yet. It looks like a surprise.” Fatima’s quick mouth responded.
“Na wa o! All these junior girls that will be doing as if nothing. So Onome you have itchu!” Amaka said, her eyes searching the bag and the rest of the items that was brought into my corner.
“Ah there is cake, thank God!” Fatima chimed, already staking her claim to a piece of the cake that even I hadn’t seen.
She sent a cake too?
Who she?

I wanted to move. At least stretch my frail hand forward to reach for the card if only to see who this was. But I couldn’t move. Surprise and guilt planted me solid in the corner, my legs quivering and unmoving.
A part of me knew who it could be. If I were right. Maybe that was why I felt so good and bad all at once.
Dear Lord please take this away, I prayed in my heart. I raised my head momentarily to look around me and lo, all eyes were fixed on me like Eagles in flight for prey. Everyone was waiting for me to reveal the contents of the bag. Or open the cake. Or pop the bottle of wine. There was wine too?
I looked up at the wall beside me to avoid their fixed glare and 50Cent stared back at me from the poster on the wall. He suddenly appeared mean in a menacing sort of way.
I looked away and stared down at my feet.
Lord please take this away.

BTS Photos and more on set of “War Coming”

This is my favorite video right now! Yea I know that is weird cause duhhh it is my own video right, and I had a hand in creating it right? I wish I could be modest. I just can’t help it. This is my favorite music video ever!! heehe. Ok maybe that is a little over the top.
The song “War Coming” is one of those songs on my album that I sincerely cannot get over. We got in the studio to make this song and it was all so magical and incredibly special. Tosin, famously known as D’Guitar was the amazing talent on the lead guitars, that’s what you hear when the song begins. We got in the studio together to make this song and we didn’t even know what the song was going to be. But as soon as D’Guitar began to strum those chords, the melody fell right out of my mouth and I remember it like yesterday, what you hear on the final chorus of the song “War Coming” is the very first thing that came to mind.I really just ran with it.
I think this is my favorite scene. Ok one of. LOL
And then Sir Dauda, who I definitely have to work with again, lays a verse on the song and it is everything you knew it was supposed to be. Then he called it ‘Just-a-freestye’. Just a Free what?? Dude is straight up nuts with this! And a superb writer too. Was such a pleasure to have him on this song.
Oh shoot! Back to the video.
Sir Dauda. Swaaaaaggggg!

So it is actually a really loooooooong story, I am going to try my very best to keep it short and sweet. Please note that I am doing my best not to bore you right now and I also have to make sure you get the movie of this gist.

It was a really dark night and Mex, the director who is also a very good friend of mine, fixed call time for shoot at 8PM.
We had all initially spent the day rehearsing our routines, which we had been on the whole week before shoot day. Raphael, the choreographer wouldn’t leave anything undone. It all had to be perfect. The girls had to bring it, and the boys had to own their routines like men. Raphael was bent on making sure that happened. Perfectionist. Which is why I work with him.

Imagine how tired everyone was. We didn’t leave the dance studio until about 5PM which left us only a very short time to prepare.
I got home, stared myself in the mirror and realized “Oh shoot! My hair isn’t quite right!”. And hell no it wasn’t. I had colored it blonde a day before hoping that I would like it like all my other blonde dos, but this one just be like local tinz. I hated it.
So in the little time that I had to think of something, I decided I was going to paint my hair with white paint! Did I do it? Before nko! I snapped up my bottle of white body paint and began to paint it into my hair. And the result was amazing!! It came out buttery and milky in tone and it was all difficult to figure out and that was why I liked it. In my mind I was creative. Hell Yea I was!

Raphael, middle

I needed someone to take the images for the fashion and styling that I had laid out in my head, and make them come alive. I knew what I wanted, and as I spoke with her for the first time, -Gloria Ohiri was her name, She had told me herself before i even had a chance to ask- I could tell that she knew what I wanted too. Even just as much as I knew it.
And oh boy did she come correct! I absolutely enjoyed working with her!
My two and four nigga @theStyleinfidel could not make the shoot but he was all too helpful even though we miles apart and was able to pull off my black get up, Oh and the shoes from was just straight up fire. I have said several times how I badly have to go shoe shopping. I’d be sure to sure you my finds when I do.

Shoes! These were from

Please Click to watch “War Coming” the video below

My Performances: ELOY 2014

Hey guys! You already know how I absolutely love to share my every experience with y’all.
So over the next months I would be sharing several videos of my performances from all over Africa.
If you ever miss any of my shows, no worries! You can enjoy the experience right here. I hope I can keep up, there are so many videos to upload for y’all.

This is a cut from my performance at ELOY Awards 2014 and I had the pleasure of working the sound with two members of my band DGuitar and Peter.
Uuuuuhhh I loved being on stage yo! ‘Shuga’ sounded like something from another time!
Let me know if you enjoyed it!