Help! How can I Stop Masturbating?

It’s not very often that you have a conversation with an addict. Not forgetting that each one of us in our own ways are addicted to something or another. Whether that be internet surfing, pornography, nicotine, sex, masturbation, junk food, TV, working out, there is an addiction for everyone as long as you are human.
For the most part you are better off being addicted to things that enhance your life, things that improve you and lead you on the path to becoming the person you want to be.

However, When your addictions take from you rather than add to you then you know you have got yourself hooked on a habit that needs to be done away with.
But its never that easy is it?
No one ever just wakes up and says “There, that’s it. This is the last time.” Habits die hard.

In fact scientists suggest you cannot completely quell a habit, you have to replace the bad habit with a new one gradually over time.
That is the plight of Jide, who sent me a DM on Instagram some weeks ago seeking my help. He is addicted to Masturbating and does sincerely want to be over with it.
Now in my position, it is difficult to deal with this as with every other addiction as each addiction in itself is different. Addictions relating to the sexual, are even more difficult to deal with as these are addictions that involve the part of us that evokes heightened levels of pleasure.
Of course you cannot just say “Stop doing it,” as it is never that easy to just stop doing it.

A lot of people, especially men starting early on in their teens become addicted to Masturbation and it is true that most men have at some point in their lives pleasured themselves.
For a lot of people addicted to Masturbation, it does quickly transition to yet another addiction to pornography. So not only is the person addicted to masturbating, they now have to deal with a whole new addiction to pornography.


I am looking for the best way to help Jide and I know there are a lot of you who have dealt with this before and can help him find a way out of his plight.
I am counting on you, especially my male readers who have successfully kicked the habit, please leave suggestions in comments below as to how anyone dealing with masturbation can help themselves curb or totally shed this habit off.
You can post your comments anonymously as you desire as I am sure quite a number of people like to maintain a discrete profile.
Constructive suggestions would go a long way, references, books, ideas, thoughts and all that can help are welcome.
I look forward to reading from you guys! Thank you all forward.

Mind Dumping! A Mental Exercise for the Depressed mind

Yesterday: 6:53PM Tue  20 October 2015 Mind Dumping

I am crying. Why am I crying? Why do I feel this way?
I feel empty.
I want to experience real joy. How do we experience real joy?
Why do I feel like such a different person?
Why do I feel less and less of myself?
I want real joy.
I am in so much pain. I have had a long terrible day.
I see how I can offer myself in service in certain ways. So why don’t I do that?
How do I dedicate my life to service?
I want to serve.
I want to give my life.
I am in too much pain. I do not like how I feel.
I am not going to call anyone. I do not want to call anyone. I do not have anyone to call. What would I do? Call them to cry on the phone? No thank you. I would cry on my own.
I used to have dreams. Big dreams. I am even living some of them now. Yet I am so sad. I am so down. I am sitting down here crying.
I need help.
I am tired.
I am tired of coming back here. I am tired of holding myself back.
I do not want to keep on holding myself back.
I am so sad.
Why am I so sad?
I realize that I want better for myself and my family. I say I want better yet I do not push myself to do better. I lack the will to do anything. Why do I lack the will? Where did my zest for life and enthusiasm go to?
Where do I go from here?
How do I move from here?
What do I really want?
What is my life’s purpose?
What on earth am I here for?
Answer me!

Can you answer any of these life questions above? Please share your thoughts in the comments below.

Today: 7:25AM Wed 21 October 2015

So I had a really bad day yesterday. It was so bad I couldn’t get myself to do anything productive. Finally at 6:50PM I decided I was going to do a mind dump. What a mind dump is, is you writing it all out exactly as it is without trying to feign positivity.
You come face to face with your negative thoughts and negative feelings accept that they are there and run them out of your mind by writing it all out.
And so I typed it all out as it was in my head. And mind dumping like this is a great way to let the negativity out. It is like you write it, look at it, realize how negative your self talk is and then throw it out.
Just last night I wrote that above to myself. Have you ever felt like that? Have you ever just sat down to cry for no reason at all but the simple fact that crying is all you can do?
For a long time now I have really felt this way, swooning in and out of this negative energy and drowning myself in it again and again.
Yesterday was different however, it wasn’t just a simple cry of despair, it was an agonizing call for help. I needed something, anything, to pull me out of the hole I had been digging myself in.
Just before I went to bed last night, I lay down and prayed desperately to God for help. And I said “Please grant me life in abundance and help me to wake up energized and refreshed and ready to work.”
When I woke up this morning at 5:45AM that was exactly how I felt. Energized and much better, even happier than yesterday!
It was like I slept like one person and woke up as a better different person.

I have decided that I am going to work myself one piece at a time till I raise my energy and vibration naturally and I am not going to throw myself into unnecessary tantrums anymore.
So I am sharing this with you now, knowing that you may be going through something that is eating you up alive. Or maybe not you, might be someone you know.
All you have to do is dump all the negativity by writing it out, and then ask for help from the only person who can really help you.
After months and months of going back and forth hovering around all that negative energy and drowning myself in self sabotage, I look back now and realize how I am absolutely responsible for how I feel. How I feel is my responsibility and I can allow myself feel just as good as I allow myself feel bad.
It is unbelievable how much of a change can happen in under 12 hours!
I cannot believe how better I feel this morning.
So friend, I implore you to mind dump today all the negativity that you may have allowed eat you up alive.
You are smiling but not really smiling. Someone asks “How are you today?” And you say “Oh great!” But you really feel like shit.
You feel like you are Alive but not Living. You are processing over and over in your mind how bad things are looking and you literally cannot get yourself to feel good about anything.
You are experiencing so much internal turmoil and it feels like someone is driving jagged knives through your body.
You want to talk to someone about it but you know they wouldn’t understand. No one understands but you.
Life is hard, yet so simple my friend.
Life can be even harder on you if you let it beat you to the ground.
I have done enough of that to myself and all my suffering would be to waste if I cannot share with you how you too can end yours.
Mind-dump today.
Mind-dump today.
Mind-dump today like your life depends on it, because it does!
Write yourself a letter. Write out how you feel. Be sincere with yourself. It is a personal note to self. Use the exact words that express how you feel.
When you are done, read it back to yourself and realize how much of a better person you are than what’s on the page. Then tear it up. Tear it up, let it go.
Just before you go to bed, pray. Genuinely ask for help and a refreshing of your soul and watch what happens in the morning.
When you wake up, arise in Gratitude. Offer prayers of thanksgiving and wear a smile on your face.
Life can be simple.
Stop being hard on yourself. You would be fine I promise. Smile. 8:01AM


8 Things Being broke will Teach You

If you have ever been broke before then like me, you must have found these times in your life to be a blessing in disguise. Every time I have ever had less money than I needed, and come out of it, (thank God) I find that I am a much better person emotionally and financially.
I’d share with you 8 of some of the many things I have learned from my not having enough days

1. Double your Hustle

When you are broke, you are reminded to work harder. But remember that working harder isn’t necessarily increasing effort in the same thing, it might just be improving efficiency or changing your modus operandi.  Imagine spending 3 more hours at your job but being hardly efficient at it. You would be wasting your time and deceiving yourself that you are working hard.

2. You can Rediscover alternatives.

Being broke and/or in debt is a good experience for anyone. This is a time when your true animal instincts are heightened and your need for survival is challenged. Your creative juices would surge within you at this time, and ideas for how to make things better would begin to seep through your subconscious. Ensure that you are open to these insights and be willing to follow them when they reveal themselves to you.
Maybe you would realize your monthly paycheck isn’t at all enough for your needs and you have to indulge in a new passion or take on a second job. Do that.

3. All your Friends are broke too

When you are broke you are likely to want to place a call to all your friends, well the ones you can trust, to take a loan. What you would find out is every time, every single time you are broke, they are all broke too. Nobody ever has money when I need it from them. It is crazy. Well with an exception of two people who would always find a way to make something happen, all my friends have one situation or another they are dealing with just in the time I need their help.
Does this happen to you?

4. Being broke doesn’t mean You are not Rich

Being Rich or Poor is a state of the mind.
If you equate your wealth or your self worth with how much physical cash you have, then the minute you run out of physical cash, you feel less of yourself. A big chunk of your self worth is cut off and you drag yourself through the mind demeaning experience of feeling insecure. And money, on some level is really just that, an object of a false sense of security and on some level, power.

When you understand that it is not money itself that makes you rich, but who you are and what you have to give the world, then you can begin to see how it is very important that you begin to control your mind and change your thoughts and perceptions on money, and on a different level, work on increasing your self worth by improving the value you bring to the market place.
I am Rich, not because of how much is in my bank account or not in my bank account, but because of the invaluable gifts I have been blessed with and will always inherently have, if I nurture them.
When I give or share these gifts with the world, giving value out, I am recompensed in its physical materialization which is money.
Does that make sense? Do you get it?

I think, If you keep looking at this image, Money would flow to You. LOL

5. All you really need is food, Water and Good people to talk to.

Aaarhhhh! If you have ever been really so broke, to the point where all you can think about is food and water, then you know what I mean. And bad as e bad, if you cannot afford food, then hopefully God has blessed you with some good friends with whom you can laugh over your situation.

6. You don’t need a New this, and another that

We can become prone to spending even when we do not really need the things we are taking off the shelves. When you do not have money to replace your things however, you begin to come up with new, ingenious ways to re-use and manage your old stuff. And if you successfully get through this stage, you would find yourself cutting back on unnecessary expenses when the time comes to spend.

7. You are financially illiterate

From being very broke at one point in my life, I finally came to the grim realization that I knew nothing about money. Of course I knew what investments I was going to make and what I needed to buy, how much I needed to save, and bla bla, but when it came down to it, I was still financially illiterate. Financial literacy I have discovered, is not necessarily something that is taught in schools. Schools teach you how to go out and work for money. They fail to teach you how to create wealth and make money work for you.
Being broke has shown me just how much of an illiterate on the subject of Money I have been and you might find yourself in the same boat too.
If you want to get ahead in life and really begin to succeed in pulling in money on some higher level, then your knowledge of money has to improve. Educate yourself. Find books. Buy books. Read them

8. If you create Value, the Money would come

You come to a point in your life where you begin to realize and truly understand that Money is given you in exchange for the value you put out or have been able to earn for yourself.
That said, your business should be about creating and maximizing the value that you bring to the market place, offering your gifts to the best of your ability.
What you want to do is really focus on giving value, become passionate about that and let it be what drives you to do what you do. The money, would come, when you are ready for it. Give and you receive. You give some kind of value and receive its physical equivalent which is Money.

These are just a few of the things I have learned from my broke days. Now do share yours please.
Have you ever being really broke before? What has being broke taught you? I really want to read your thoughts and experiences, please share in the comments below!


Dear Mr President Buhari sir!

Dear Mr President Buhari sir,

What a pleasure it is to send you a letter my man! 
Kai kai kai! I am so honored to be communicating with you like this yo. 
I am going to go straight to the point and skip all unnesscesary mumbo-jumbo.
There are two sides to everything Mr President and the only way you are going to take our dear Nigeria to canaan is by understanding this fact and knowing what to do with this information.
Lucky for you I have done that job and all you have to do now is pay me daddy!

Now there are two sides to what Nigeria needs. There is your side, and there is the peoples’ side. You know your side, and it must be a really good thing you have planned because the mighty God I serve couldn’t have put you in this position by mistake **except of cause you think you got here by sheer luck or votes of the people** Taahh!
You have to know what the peoples’ side is Mr President. 
What are our needs, what do we yearn for, what do we need to heal our souls, how can we put us on the paths that would help our dreams come true. We are the ones living through the severe hardship of our great country, We are the ones working for the country despite the inhumane conditions we have to work in. We have tried our best so far and we have done well. Just imagine how much further we could take this country to with your help and dedication.

If I were in your shoes, which I sincerely do not think I am worthy of, (I’d stick to my stilettos thank you very much) I would listen to the Nigerian people. 
The only way you can change this country is by doing for us. If you do for us then you do for yourself too.

I sha know you are where you are by grace and by grace you will succeed at moving Nigeria forward, in Jesus Christ name, Amen

Today 1st of June is Independence day here in Kenya and I am staring out into the most amazing view of trees and greenery thinking how so beautiful this place is.
Take a trip Mr President, to Kenya. See bah, you don’t even have to go too far guy, only Kenya, our next day neighbour fa.
It is heaven here guy!! Not entirely though, because the people have troubles of their own too. They have security issues just as much as every other country does, they have corruption in high places too. But they are the most happy people I have ever being around. The place is soooooooo beautiful and life here feels like what life should be in Nigeria if we could just put in a little effort. 
3 things I brought home with me from Nairobi? 

1. They Love genuinely!
The Kenyans just love. They care about one and another and they do things, not just because there is something in it for them but because they believe when they do for one, they do for self.
This is what the Universe operates on. Can you inspire and instil the value of one love in the hearts of the Nigerian people?

2. They enjoy 24 hours electricity supply. Everywhere. If the power has to go off, the people are notified. You know what this does? You know what this means? This means that businesses work without the extra hustle that lack of power brings! And if businesses are working the people are successful. If the people are successful, the country is successful. 
If you do not do anything at all, please give the Nigerian people constant power supply. I say this on behalf of every Nigerian. We all know how this can improve every sector of the Nigerian economy so I would not make this letter longer than should be by stating the obvious.

3. If you cannot do No.1 and No.2  I sincerely doubt you would be able to do anything at all. So lets keep it at 1 and 2 and when you have accomplished those, I’d write you yet another letter to tell you the third most important thing I got from Kenya.  

Now I really like you guy. Prior to becoming the President, congratulations again, I heard a lot of things about you. Bad things. And some good. You know how people are, people talk, and boy was there much talk on your matter! I didn’t make any judgement of you however. I don’t roll like that. I have decided to make my own personal assessment of you myself based on what I experience during your time. 
So far I think I like you. You are the kind of guy I could have my morning coffee with. With Mr Jega of course. I like that guy. Don’t lose him.

I was also thinking it would be a really cool thing to work for you. Like I said, I like you.
I could be your special adviser on youth affairs and extra-curricular activities. With my position and influence in Entertainment and Music, I am quite confident that creating a direct communication pathway between your government and the Nigerian youth would be an easy feat for me.  Although I charge by the hour, I promise not to go overboard with my billing. Think about this. 
Please note however, there are a lot of issues you have to deal with in Nigeria don’t get me wrong. Power is just one of them. There are issues with Education, Transportation, Corruption, Health services, Energy, Security…the list is endless and I’d hate to scatter your head just yet. You sef sabi this thing.
My Nigerian friends online are going to be sending in comments below this post to tell you what they want and how they think your Government can move Nigeria forward. Please be prepared there would be a lot of comments. 
You see I have begun my duties and we haven’t even made my position official. I do this Mr President Buhari sir. I do this!

Do not forget what I said kind Sir, there is your side, and there is the Nigerian side. Remember God speaks through men, if you listen to the people, you listen to God. 
I like you Mr President Buhari Sir. I think I might really like you. My Album “1960” drops next week! I’d send you an autographed physical copy, please send a picture holding it up will you? Thank you! God bless you. God bless Nigeria.

Dear Nigerians, this is your moment, The President is reading this. Have something to say? Some suggestions maybe? Please air your views and opinions in the comments below. Say it. As e dey do you for bodi, just say it.

14 things I Learned from my We-Almost-Had-it-all Ex

Relationships. I am a sucker. I love to love, this much is true. I have been lucky to meet some of the most interesting guys, and date a few of them. I have also had my fair share of the how-did-I-get-myself-in-this-mess types. For the most part I have learned quite a lot from guys throughout my life as I do have only a handful of female friends. As for relationships, with everyone that’s ended, I pick up a thing or two that I learned from it, dust my ass and move on. 
My last relationship was heaven! Yeah before it became hell. I look back on it every now and again just to watch a few clips off it and move on, which is what I pretty much do with my entire life. 

Of course right now I am in a place where I am not interested in any other relationship but the one with myself as I have come to a point where the relationship I have with myself has become much more important than anything else.
So as much as I love to love, I have decided the only person worth loving right now is me. 
Now back to my Ex.
He is very Nigerian, tall, handsome, sexy in every way a girl could think of, very caring and an all round lover boy. At this point, if any of my other Ex’es have enough sense they’d know this post isn’t about them. 
This was one of those relationships where you are absolutely so sure it was the one. Everything felt like such a dream, as does everything in Life. But as dreamy as the love was, the hurt was real whenever it occured.
I thought I’d share with you 14 things I learned from this relationship as they are indeed very good points worth noting.

1. Everything is better together

In the early stages of our relationship, my ex and I did almost everything together. We were like peas in a pod. We spent a lot of time together and it almost seemed like our lives were intricately interwoven in such a way that there was no me or him, just us. Working out, cooking, grocery shopping, salon visits, everything you could think of.
The good part of this obviously is that It made our bond that much stronger. The bad part? I found that I missed doing things on my own. He kind of became my only buddie, my best friend, my everything. He was always in my space I was always in his space. It is pretty easy to start stepping on toes when you are that close to a person and that’s exactly what happened.

2. Not everything is better together

Contrary to 1 above, actually not everything is better together. Sometimes a girl just wants to be a  girl and a boy just wants to be a boy. So everytime that we were not doing everything together, I found that I was happy to be alone. I am quite sure he was too. So in our time apart, we got that much better alone so that when we did come back together again there was so much to talk about. Balancing is key. We knew how to balance time together and time apart, but not quite well and so the odds were always against us when we didn’t get it just right.

3. Communication is an on-going thing

For any relationship at all, whether it is business, casual, friendships, love, every relationship thrives and excels because of great communication. The best form of communication above all else is real time face to face communication, and I am not talking facetime and skype. When you are with somebody physically, able to look in the person’s eyes as they speak to you, you create a bond that is real and that more special. 
However when my Ex and I were apart, we kept it together on all other channels of communication, phone calls, text messaging, BBM and even twitter. 
When we were not communicating constantly, something was wrong.
Now the question is ‘What are you talking about?’
With my Ex, we talked about everything. He was my best friend, sometimes it seemed like he was my only friend. 
Was this bad? Hell yeah! 
Bad for me though because it almost began to feel like I was losing myself socially as I had only one being in my circle most of the time.

4. Family matters

I do place family above everything. Luckily he did too. We talked about our families a lot and were in constant touch individually. 
The last thing you want is to be in a relationship with someone who hardly brings up conversation about family. Not good.

5. When there’s money, Love is good

I have never been the type of girl to size a man up according to how much he was packing financially. For the most part I believe in growing together so my choice of men have never had anything to do with their financial status. 
However when there’s money and we have enough to spend on this or that, and go to this or that place, Love is good. Every girl knows what this means.

6. When there’s no money, Love is better

Even better than 5, when there is no money, Love is better! As my relationship with my Ex has shown me. If you are like me and do not mind loving a guy for richer or poorer, then you have probably found ways to make love exciting when there is no money.
With my Ex, we found lots of ways and I mean Lots!!!
No money easily meant that we came to appreciate everything a little more than was necessary. We also were able to focus on deeper more meaningful matters like emotional, spiritual and intellectual growth, as we spent more time on naturally available non-money-buying activities.

7. Praying together is powerful

I am constantly seeking new ways to enjoy and develop my relationship with God. I am not holy, just as you aren’t, but when you are with someone on the same path spiritually, it can be a great thing to share. 
Everytime we prayed together it always felt like the prayer was that much more stronger and God answered much quicker. “Where two or three are gathered…..”

8. I am mad at you, Let’s talk about it

Over time in life I cultivated a bad habit of keeping things to myself when I was mad and shutting off for minutes, sometimes days. My ex hated it and was always quick to try to quell the situation. He taught me how to get things over with as they happened and it made a huge difference in my life. I didn’t have to walk around with all that baggage and our relationship didn’t have to suffer for something that was already in the past. 
“I am mad at you.”
“I am sorry boo. Please let’s talk about it.”
We talk about it, problem solved. Love goes on. Everybody’s happy. Goodbye. Till we fight again. Repeat cycle.

9. Keep a few secrets

This is very important. My Ex and I talked about everything yes, but everything doesn’t mean I couldn’t hold on to a few things that were mine for safe keeping. 
I can be a little too trusting for my own good sometimes and with my Ex I was exactly that. But a few skeletons in the shelf don’t hurt no one. Unfortunately for him we didn’t stay together longer for him to hear me spill.

10. We both love books, But I’d choose mine

I made a really terrible mistake of giving up my right to choose and began instead to want to do things my Ex did. This was especially true with books. We are both addicted to books but in varying subjects. However I doted on him a bit too much. I thought he was the most intelligent guy I’d ever met. I wanted to schedule my day like he scheduled his’, I wanted to read the same books he read, I made his mentors my mentors, I created To-Do lists after To-Do lists like he did even though I was much more productive as a random creative. 
Heck it didn’t take long before I lost myself in his world. 
But here’s the hard truth, no knowledge is lost. I admit that I learned quite a bit from going that route but it cannot be compared to the joy I felt when I came back to my senses and began to read and do according to my own unique needs again. 

11. Not every man is a dog

I have met quite a number of dogs in my lifetime. I don’t care how many people you have running down your list, we all have our numbers, but biko, when you are with one person, stick to one person until the devil separates you two.
My Ex respects himself too much to be a dog. Whoever the girl is that’s gonna get him now after me is one lucky girl!

12. Men are simple

All the emotional bouhaha that we female folk bring to the table really doesn’t make sense to them. They don’t get why we make something so simple appear way too complicated. Men have the simplest answers, the simplest reasons for doing what they do, it never has to be too deep, it never has to get to the point where they have to beg us. But we nor gree. 
I for one nor gree. It took a while but he finally did drive home his point into my thick skull. Men are simple, if you are willing to see it that way.

13. Rules of engagement, Keep it to yourself

This particular relationship was the best I ever had! Oooohhhh the Love. Unlike any other relationship, this one was very very very Us. I didn’t have any need to get anyone involved in our drama and like I told you at No.8, my Ex had a way of solving issues as they occured. It is true that conflict and disagreements occur in relationships to strengthen the bond, just like life does with us when things are down and tough. The more conflicts, the more opportunities to learn how to resolve them better and in a loving peaceable manner.
Because I was not involving my girlfriends or telling whoever cared to listen about my problems, it helped us solve issues between us and there were no external opinions fueling or messing things up. You know how everyone suddenly becomes a relationship expert when you have a relationship problem? Yeah, I didn’t give myself the pleasure of that kind of therapy.  Ehrmmm..actually maybe once. (There’s always that one time)

14. Love is as love does

My Ex’ favorite phrase. This is akin to love your neighbor as yourself. Do unto others as you’d like them to do unto you. 
He was a master at this and everyday was a reason to love even better than yesterday.
Basically whatever you wouldn’t accept for yourself, do not extend unto your partner.

**One more!** 

15. “I Am not your Ex”

I heard this all the time. It was like a constant reminder. My Ex before this Ex was a terrible Ex. And the latter Ex hated it whenever I made it seem as though he was a reincarnation of the former Ex.
‘I am not your Ex’ he’d say to me matter of factly. And when I looked into his eyes and gazed upon his handsome face, of course I wasn’t blind. He was not that Ex obviously. He was better, more caring, sincere, very well mannered, very dedicated and a true God-send. But he is an Ex now. Just not that Ex.

Now after all that, why did we break up? Nna it’s a long story biko.

#EvaDaily ‘All your Dreams come true’ Fri April 24, 2015

10 58
Nicki Minaj – Only

Today I spent a lot of time inside my head. This has become a sort of ongoing thing now I just shut off everything else and stay in my head.

5 29PM
Mind dump
So what mind dump basically means is that I write off whatever comes to mind and I keep on doing that till my thoughts have gathered enough fire to be a little more meaningful than random. I usually write for 2minutes dumping randoms before my brain kicks and has sense.
I am thinking of all the renovating I have planned to do in my house. There is really so much I hadnt taken into consideration.

5 31
It is beginning to look like more work than fun but I have decided to find some fun in the tedious hours of working as much as possible.
I might just call in a friend to help me with it, but even that in itself will take the fun away. Cause really the fun part for me with this task is doing it myself.
Plus all my friends have day jobs, so who’s really gonna have my time? Reju. Maybe. Not that ahe doesn’t have a day job, she does, but she does have some special interior skills that could xome in handy.
However I have some really interesting ideas and I kinda know how I want the house to look like when I am done with it. The adrenaline rush would come from doing it myself, so as much as I am tempted to hire someone who does interiors, or phone a friend and such and such, I wouldn’t.
I think my brain could do with some unorthodox activity.
When I first moved in here I was more concerned about just the kitchen. “Oh I want to have the most beautiful comfortable little kitchen ever,” I remember myself saying. I hadn’t even cared for anything else in the house. All I wanted at the time was a place to cook and eat the best meals.
I didn’t even buy myself a bed or create a room! Sheeesh.
Right now I am in and out of my mind with fury! I am gonna spend the weekend and the better part of next week doing this and I cannot wait to see what it all turns out like.

5 37
Is it just me or do Nigerian men have a respect problem? Ok maybe not all of them but a whole lot of them. Forgive me please and do not be so quick to jump your socks here, I say this from experience, real life changing experience.
I have met all sorts of guys. The rich, the poor, the Mummy’s boys, the just-outchere-gettin-it, the bachelors, the sitting-on-my-father’s money, the I’m-tryna-do-it-better-than-my-father, the super stars..and the list could go on.
I can tell you sincerely, they all fail me.
Men keep on saying “We are very simple creatures, it is never complicated with us..” and many bla bla blas. As simple as it is supposed to be with them, they fail to make it simple for us.
I have studied guys hard and there are basically several different types depending on their situation, just as it is with girls.
If a guy has grown up being closer to his mother than his father for whatever reason, he usually tends to have a more developed feminine side. His feminine qualities will be pronounced and he is the type to be cool, calm, patient, intuitive, submissive- he learned this from his Momma. And it can be a really good thing especially for us girls, untill we begin to wait for his more masculine sides and we end up waiting forever.

It is about to rain heavily! Lord knows I am gonna go baff in the rain. **for my non-Nigerian readers, baff is our term for bathe. Everyone in Nigeria baffs. you don baff?**
I am so lucky mehnnn. Everytime it rains and I am home, I love to be out in the rain and it isn’t such an eyesore cause there aren’t too many people up and about. Its raining anyways who wants to be out right?
Basically there will be no one to look at me like I am some kinda mad person. Yo its coming down yooooo! I’m out. Be back in a jiffy.
There’s blessing in the rain. Lets all baff in the rain!! 5:49PM

The funny little thing happened as I ran out to bathe in the rain. Unbeknownst to me it was actually a very heavy showdown! As soon as I stepped out into the rain I had all levels of chills run down my spine, my thin body, my breasts- barely concealed by the sheer white tank I was wearing.
Don’t baff in the rain when it is this heavy. I just learned that.
So I ran back in after receiving a couple slaps of the blessings in the rain and as I began to open my gate, the smallest trickle of pee knocked at my Vee-Vees. In my mind I could make a quick run into the bathroom before it came down my legs.
Boy was I wrong!
It was a slippery walk-running dance to the bathroom as I was dripping wet from the rain and then a shrill cry of relief escaped my lips as I sank into the toilet.
Then I was off to the shower after that.
It is still raining quite heavily now and I am just going to go lay down and crawl back into my head, my thoughts keeping me company while I enjoy the downpour.
Dear Nepa, Fuck you. 6:12PM

Dear Lord I thank you because you always protect me. In Jesus Christ name, Amen

Opportunity is that fleeting thing that passes you by so quickly you barely even notice its presence when it hovers around you.
Opportunity that passes when you have failed at

11 53
You know the funny thing? I actually am getting exactly what I asked for. And getting them exactly when I am ready for them.
Do you ever feel like that? You get to a point and look back on your life realizing that it’s all been perfect from the jump and if you had gotten what it was you asked for much earlier than you are getting it now then you might not have enjoyed it. 11 55

#Before1960 Love Yourself, please

‘The unconditional love that you have for yourself is what will ultimately drive everything else about you. If you are not inlove with yourself now, you ought to be. It is the first reason you are here. You are the only one who is going to be with you for the rest of your life. You all the only one who knows your deepest darkest secrets. Everyone else might think they know you, but only you know who are. How about some love for this person you cal self.
I Love myself first. That way I can love you.’

Credits – Brainy Quote

#EvaDaily ‘Have Ease in Everything you do’ Wed April 22, 2015

Driving through the night in this neat fancy car we had talked gingerly about a lot of things, until we began to go back and forth on what it was he was going to do with himself for the night. To go back to the island? Or stay? I said stay. Who wouldn’t want him to stay?

3 44AM
If I can’t do it for me, then what is it that makes me want to do it for you?

3 46
 2Pac – I aint mad at cha

From April 21.
“What does it mean to be a beautiful girl?”

A beautiful girl knows that she is beautiful and you don’t have to say it to her. She sees a beautiful person stare at her when she stares at herself in the mirror. She needs no confirmation from no one else cause that which she says about herself is final. So she calls herself beautiful. But not because of what her physical appearance might convey, -that itself is beautifully and wonderfully made in the image of God- but because her soul drives her to reach for the beauty in everything.
She does for herself and never forgets to do for others.
A beautiful girl

 2Pac – I aint mad at cha

From April 21.
“What does it mean to love?”

To love is to forget about yourself and think on things for another. It is to take a major amount of the focus and attention you may have placed on yourself and extend the very same to someone else.
To love is to genuinely want a better choice for someone else. To genuinely expect good things for someone else.
To love is
Was Interrupted. Matters of the heart.
4 33AM
From April 21.
“What does it mean to be a friend?”
“Was interrupted at 4 33. Matters of the heart.

6 06AM

She pulled him to the side of the hallway, looked straight in his eyes and said to him with a clear firm note in her voice.
“Let’s Fuck when we get back home. I want you.”
He chuckled, a low ringing laugh that brought with it an air of sarcasm.
She smiled, her pretty girlishly-boyish smile which had worked on several men, and women in the past.
She tugged at his belt pulling him forward aiming for the bulge that was beginning to creep up slowly behind the fly of his jeans.

Had a rough night. Do not ever underestimate the power of a good night’s sleep! A friend and I were speaking yesterday and he said to me “Food, Sleep, Water and Love, thats all we live on”.

If I do not start my day doing all of the following I am short changing myself.
-Meditation, Prayer, Worship
-Reading something Powerful
-Writing a wakeup journal. Morning mind dump
-Working out
-Eating breakfast and drinking Water
-Creating the day. Visualization

How do you start your day?
Do you have a routine that helps to keep you healthy and focused through the day?
Yesterday I had a very awesome day!! Everythung I had planned to do was successful and I found myself gliding through it all in Love.
Even after spending the whole day on my feet at photoshoot, I still had enough energy to go on and on if I had wanted to.
I started the day with a Prayer. A special moment that my best friend and I had shared.
The fulfilling part of prayer is when we pray for our friends, loved ones and enemies. As you pray for yourself, pray for your spouse too, your family and friends, and if it is not too much to ask, Pray for them by name.

“Today I go forth in Love and I find Ease in everything I do.” 10:08

Breakfast:  Spaghett, Fried Plantain, Fish
 Ron Kenoly – Let everything that has breath

11 42PM
You do it. Because

A says to B “These people who asked us to come do this thing, they want to do it on Wednesday oh. You know typical Nigerians, everything rush”, a sharp look of a serious lack of interest dressing his face in royaly shades of the words “I am not sure we should do this, Might not be that important or what our time.”
B immediately seeing how there was an opportunity looming in the task that presented itself to be done,

Was Interrupted. Phone call from a very beautiful #AlordianGirl @waa_yay
OMG!! She makes me happy. Hot fire spitter. Already told her to send me some of her music.  The few I have watched and heard already from Gray Jones have put me in a very comfortable position of “I am gonna listen to you!”

A very important part of communicating, after Listening of course, is knowing when to get out.

 Logic – Under Pressure 
1 26

It is a relatively cool Lagos day. At least in this time and moment with the generator on and powering the house and the AC giving maximum life.
She has gotten herself in a very relaxed position on her bright blue yoga mat, notepad in hand, her thoughts arranging and planning the day ahead into several To-do compartments.
As she is busying herself in the shelves of her mind,
she remembers the harddrive. Although she isn’t quite sure if it was in the car, she still desired to go…

1 28
What is good for the goose may or may not be good for the gander, it all depends on the gander’s perception of what is good for him.

Everytime I am talking on the phone I am talking to a fan.

1 38PM
“My Life? It all depends on who I decide to choose for me. Myself or them.”

1 40PM **from 1:26
..she still desired to go check to be sure. But as she pondered on whether she wanted to make the journey from her room all the way out to the parked car outside, she immediately did not want to be removed from her now very comfortable position. She was in her zone. No one was gonna take her out of it if she wasn’t ready to leave. Not even a damn important harddrive could make her stand up today.
The plan? Ask him to go get it.
Seems like they were both in a “I am not getting out of this zone zone” because as she was thinking of sending him message he was doing the exact thing!
“Shey we can turn off this gen now?” He inquires of her, fingers signally an ‘abi?’ with his eyes squinting.
“We might as well save the fuel,” he adds just to drive home his point that the gen had to go off.
“Ehnnn ok.” Was her quick sharp response baring raising her head off her notepad to look at him.

Apparently no one wants to get up and go out of this room. But somebody gotta do it.
So she nose dived into the opportunity laid out for her
“Oh bae, Please turn it off for me would you,” her puppy eyes batting lashes.

1 59mIfvuou decide that this is what you have to start doing it is to now decide how am I going to start doing this eegilarly
It is about building systems

One of the things I want to start tdoing is to review my the notes everyday.
It is very important to just know the systems you want to use and make them happen. To buils these goos habits that you fuel will help u thru life
Somethings you just do and you

to be concious enough that you just want to help people and bless people.

2 06
“Look at this bitch”, he says with disgust as his eyes rise up to the ceiling. he is talking about a roach. The sometimes flying thing crawling on the short white wall of the small room
‘Cockroach!’, She shrieked. She hated them. When they flew all around or gingerly just crawled on by like an accepted guest of the house. Every funmigation attempt on the house had either not seen the light of day or had gone on without any major effect on the creeping and crawling things.
He gets up and co

People want to see you do what you do. Get up there. Stop fighting yourself. go out and do what you say you wanna do. Do it for you. Then do it for People

2 29PM
I am going to begin giving value, to myself and others around me everyday.
As i want to be better I want others to be better too.

2 46
I am so grateful that my skin gets better and better everyday!
I have stayed away from harsh or supposedly chemically potent products for a really long time now and that makes me super proud.
I remember I used to be so awfully frenzied about having a break out here or there and everywhere, how this or that was imperfect or at least not as perfect as I wanted and I wanted improvement. And it was numerous product after product, trying this and that in a desperate attempt to flee the humiliation of been seen with thing causing us all this trouble
It is ok I assure you, absolutely ok to see something you do not like about yourself and want to change it or make an improvement.
However the truth is that the first improvement you want to make is the improvement of your perception of things. Your perception of yourself.
If you are seeing things about yourself physically that do not meet up your standards of who you think you should look like, and you haven’t yet defined your perception of who you are on the inside, then there comes a big conflict for you.
But unfortunately the truth is we are judged by our appearance first. The visual perception of things is of couse an all too important member of the human’s higher mind faculties.

5 32PM
At ten strings

5 52
now at my Auditions in tensttings. Cant keep typing. have to focus. just to update

7 44
If you are going to so something, do it better than the people who started it.

Off to the studio with Tin and then to industry night.


Made dinner for ths boys. They are all gone now and I am all alone in my tiny little world.

#EvaDaily “What does it mean?” Tue April 21, 2015

What does it mean to be a beautiful girl
What does it mean to love?
What does it mean to be a friend?
What does it mean to serve?
What does it mean to be rich?
What does it mean to be poor?
What does it mean to trust?
What does it mean to give?
What does it mean to be happy?
What does it mean to cheat on a spouse?
What does it mean to fall in love?
What does it mean to teach?
What does it mean to be faithful?
What does it mean to be yourself?
What does it mean to be beautiful?
What does it mean to keep it real?
What does it mean to help?
What doss it mean to focus?
What does it mean to think of others?
What does it mean to be at ease?
What does it mean to have disease?
What does it mean to be Me?
What does it mean to love me?
What does it mean to pray?
What does it mean to pray for others?
What does it mean to be a wife?
What does it mean to be a husband?
What does it mean to succeed?
What does it mean to fail?
What does it mean to dream?
What does it mean to be satisfied?
What does it mean to let go?
What does it mean to be sexually abused?
What does it mean to be passionate?
What does it mean to love music?
What does it mean to create?
What does it mean to be high?
What does it mean to be independent?
What does it mean to be alive?
What does it mean to be open?
What does it mean to mind your business?
What does it mean to trust yourself?
What does it mean to be a writer?
What does it mean to forgive?
What does it mean to forgive and forget?
What does it mean to have a goal?
What does it mean to be human? 10:50AM

Going to pack up for photoshoot today. Late already.

11 34
on my way. already 30 mins late. I do not like people waiting for me.

11 39AM
He helps me feel better about myself. I do not have to try.

Isn’t it so amazing what the human mind can do? The farther you stretch it, the farther it takes you. If you stay thinking the same things, you might find yourself doing the same things.

12 01PM

If there is struggle around it, dis-ease sets in. If it is without ease, it is disease.

We have been looking for this place for a while now, circling Opebi like no man’s business
We stopped to ask some men sitting under an umbrella

Been getting my makeup for shoot. Almost done!
Do not ever underestimate the power of the mind. We live in a very beautiful world. If you choose not the see the beauty of it, You’d only see the polar opposite which is all the shit and ugliness. There is beauty in everything.

2 42PM
Awwww I look soooooo pretty right now! Love my makeup! I hope Wana Sambo likes the look.

2 43PM
I love exactly where I am right now. I love this place. Life is good.

8 34PM
Still at photoshoot with Wana and Sunmisola. These photos are looking incredible yoooooo!!!

#EvaDaily 💀 📰 “A very long day” April 20, 2015

At Rodizzio, GRA Ikeja. Business meeting. I love these kinds of meetings. Different people and their opinions. Mostly men. Where are the women? They never seem to be so many. Maybe one or two if any.
I spent the day looking at locations and new spots.
I haven’t had water today. Shit!

Photoshoot with one of my favorite Nigerian designers tomorrow. Wana Sambo. Dreams really do come true. God just has a way of arranging it all in place doesn’t he? Sometimes it feels like you never know what is happening until it all happens and you begin to put the pieces of the puzzle together and it looks like it’s been all set up perfectly from the start.
You begin to feel like ‘Wow! I wish I knew it was all gonna turn out like this I wouldn’t have stressed myself out that much mehnnn’.

I miss Tintin. I haven’t seen him in over a week and it is unreal! Same with Gray. These boys have really done a number on me. I feel weird without them.

I am gonna think deeply for the next 5mins and write whatever comes to mind after that.

Deep thought. I just let it all float out of me. I feel relaxed.
6 37
I am in a very creative zone right now.
What does it mean when people say that? Is there really a place we go to? A height we try to reach in our subconcious that is somehow much better to work from, or to produce work optimally?
Everyone talks about it, the zone. Do you?

6 40
I am sitting here, water and glass in front of me on the table, these men talking football. And boxing.

6 41 Dictation

E go stand
Is it working?
It’s working
**silence in the room
*Phone ringing – J.Cole.
Alex just walked in. He smells great! Uuuhhh. I like when a man smells great.
Larry Holmes had 48.
He should have avoided that fight. He is just silly
Lewis wanted to do that as well
They are watching the commentary on TV.
I’m here like ‘I am going to understand this. One day.’
These guys are in their own planet. Nobody comes close.
Wetin happen to this Argentine?
Maybe he is not happy
It is a combination of factors, from fatigue to….

*A waiter comes in to serve bottles of Guinness. I am very tempted to have a bottle right now but I am having water. Let’s see how long I can keep my eyes off it.*

Which team you dey support?
You wan cast me for here
Which one.
Red devil

This conversation is boring jor. I am done dictating.

6 49
Why don’t guys talk about something else? Is it because this is a business meeting?
Ok you know how I told you at 6:06 that there weren’t many women here. Ok there are 2 more now.
Even at that must the men talk only football? Can someone explain this to me? How everytime they sit together this is the topic that keeps them talking?

6 52
Going to read till 7:30.
7 05
Harry Porter and the Sorcerer’s stone
**Couldn’t read Harry Porter. Meeting took over.

Just got home. Meeting took forever. But it was really good. I am beginning to really like these corporate guys.
Lord knows I am going to kill Osa7 today.

9 22PM
I wonder sometimes why we never talk about sex. In this country? Or better yet why we talk about it in a hush hush mode. Everybody kinda just goes about it hypocritically, hush here hush there.
I wondered yesterday what it was like to be a teenager today. In this fast paced everything-at-your finger tips world of the internet?
There is definitely a poor education on sex. And sexual relations..
Parents don’t want to talk about it with you, siblings don’t say anything about it either. All you have ia TV, the internet and what else is there to give you the information you need.
Imagine the information everyone is consuming.
I vote proper sex education in schools. It is Penis. It is Vagina. Why are you so ashamed to call it by its name? Why is it so awful to say it? And then teach us about the gift and the curse of it all. Then maybe let us the power of will in these matters still?
Parents if you do not teach your kids certain things yourselves, someone else will teach them for you. Why lose the power of being your child’s first teacher??
Oh Lord! And why in heaven do they think dumping us in school after school is enough? For the most part, I think the formal education is hardly any education at all compared to what could be passed down from parents to kids.
Wait. What is education really?